You give and take away

If there has been one lesson that I have learned in the past 24 hours, it would be best described by lyrics to a Matt Redman song:

"You give and take away, my heart will choose to say: Lord, blessed be Your name"

I feel like in the past 24 hours, I have just been a hot mess. I'm talking train wreck material here. When you have a string of bad luck it is hard not to dwell on it, get discouraged, pout, cry, scream, whatever your choice of "pity me" drama might be. When I get frustrated I revert back to the 3 year old version of myself, the one who spilled my drink all over my jeans on a plane ride to California, I screamed, I cried, I took my pants off and ran around the plane, except 23 years later I have learned to keep my pants on...I know I am not an attractive crier, I can't imagine me being pants-less would make the situation any more cute. I let frustration get the best of me sometimes, so after my string of bad luck I couldn't help but think today: "My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." This is the horror God has so graciously helped me endure over the past 24 hours: Blessed be your name when I spill my iced coffee all down the front of my new white v-neck tee. Blessed be your name when I proceed to walk across the parking lot to a Wal-Mart to buy a Tide pen and my BlackBerry went sliding out of my hand and across the cement. Blessed be your name when the Tide pen left (big) splotchy off-white colored stains all down the front of my shirt. (NEXT DAY) Blessed by your name when I am in line at a Starbucks and an old man asks me if I am wearing my bath robe when I really just wore one of my favorite dresses and paired it with jeans because it was cool outside. Blessed be your name when the two drinks I bought flip upside down on the way to work and my car now smells like soy milk. And finally, blessed be your name when I am just sad, feel hopeless, discouraged, confused, annoyed, aggravated, and lonely.

Those words speak truth to me today, because I know that He gives but He also takes away, and He will only ever take away to replace it with His glory. His glory is worth walking around drenched in coffee. His glory is worth a busted up phone. His glory is worth a fashion disaster. His glory is worth making me less so that He may be greater. I have no problem going through these things if that's what it takes to remind me of His infinite love and goodness. I get so stuck on myself, that I forget to dwell on His goodness, instead of dwelling on my misfortune.

So as I sit here, in my "bath robe", drinking only half a cup of a soy latte, and dreading going back into my car after work only to be suffocated by the fumes of old milk, I can only think: "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say: Lord, blessed be Your name"

*Disclaimer: The massive consumption of coffee within the past two days comes from major lack of sleep. I still refuse to become an all out coffee drinker, I am simply testing out the waters, "getting my toes wet", so to speak.*