Today the Holy Spirit came out with guns a blazin'. I'm talking "full force, take no captives, convict you 'til you cry" kinda convictions. I am not sure why but everywhere I looked on my drive to work this morning, I heard God telling me "You need to change this, you need to change that." A very overwhelming, yet peaceful feeling to say the least.
I drove a different route to work this morning, it was not planned and I was actually just trying to avoid all traffic that I came across. I ended up in the St. John's area, way off my path to work but definitely not a coincidence. I have been feeling convictions about moving to this neighborhood, it would be a major change from where I currently am in the Arboretum. God knows it's not safe, He knows that I wouldn't have a Starbucks within walking distance, and He knows that some nights I would be scared but He keeps putting it on my heart. l don't know what to do about this conviction, my heart says "GO, DO IT!" but my mind is being rational and saying now is just not the time for a move, financially I would be downsizing in the rent but as far as buying all my own furniture that would put a dent in my wallet that I am just not comfortable with yet. So confusion has settled in and I am trying to solve this issue before June (when my lease needs to be renewed).
As if that was not enough, I stopped to get breakfast this morning at Taco Shack and there was a homeless man standing at the menu board in the driving thru area. Everyone casually brushed him off, avoided eye contact or slowly drove away. He was one smart cookie, by standing at the speaker he knew that a person couldn't keep their window up to avoid speaking to him, he knew that he would be heard, even if they weren't truly listening. Well I was a couple cars back before I spotted him and the Holy Spirit had a field day with this one. God didn't want me to back out of this one, He wanted me to help him, and that man wasn't there for no reason...he was there because God need to shout to me just a little louder today.
Have you ever made eye contact with a homeless person? It hurts and it's hard but it's absolutely necessary. It takes that direct contact to see their red, puffy and teary eyes on the outside but it's the hopelessness, fear and struggle on the inside that hurts them a lot more. After looking into their eyes, you suddenly realize that giving them $10 really isn't that big of a deal and it means a lot more to them then it should to us.
God wasn't done just yet, but is He ever? We are supposed to be changing, God restores us daily. After my trip to Taco Shack I went to Starbucks down the street to get tea (yum). While waiting for my drink to be made, I sat by a homeless person in the cafe. Very clever God, very clever. We had a wonderful conversation about how he slept for 15 hours and how he was ready and excited for a fun filled day ahead. I can guarantee that I have about 10x more possessions, money and friends than he has (that sounds mean but please understand where I am coming from) but he was more excited than I was to tackle the day. How is that?? Well because he has the joy of the Lord, I know this because he told me, and he knows what it means to rely on Him daily. He doesn't get distracted by relying on money, his job or his possessions, he HAS to rely on God- the only source of his hope. It is hard for me to even come to this conclusion because in the end I know how much stuff I am distracted by. God was this man's one and only source of happiness.
A person could classify these instances as creepy, weird, crazy, or a coincidence but as Christians we know that when these things happen it is God's way of making sure we are paying attention. I don't think it's a coincidence that He softened my heart this morning or that He made me extra aware of my surroundings or that I had conversations with people that I don't even know. I believe this was God's way making His point known and so that I wouldn't doubt that it was God's voice telling me to "change things".
After today, I am convinced that:
- I need to do something different.
- I need to get out of my comfort zone
- I need to live among the poor and less fortunate
So with changes come sacrifices and I just need to be clear on where God wants those sacrifices to come from...
"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:33-34
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