Identity Crisis

As a blogger I am having quite the identity crisis. When I started this blog four years ago I didn't think it would be a huge part of something that I wanted to do with my life. It was actually a way for me to write and for you to validate me, if we are being completely honest. But now this whole writing thing, it's what I want to do with my life- YOLO. I also named it Beauty For Ashes because I began writing it after a not-so-great time in my life, but now I find myself wanting to change my blog name. I started brainstorming last night and it didn't take long for me to think of something. Now you might be thinking- why would you want to change your blog name? Well for one, people have a hard time googling this site and there are a ton of Beauty For Ashes pages on Facebook. I want to stand out, and I want to make this blog as easy as possible to find.

I came up with a name last night and your job as the reader is to tell me how awesome it is...or how incredibly dumb it is, either one. If you chose to tell me the latter, just remember you might have to see me face to face one day...and good luck with that. Kidding. Okay, so as many of you know a lot of people call me Trace. It has been a nickname that I've had since I was a little kid...probably a young fetus too. Anyway everyone and their mom, literally, calls me Trace...even this one lady at Starbucks that I don't know very well and I can't remember how I met her. So I came up with the new blog name Traces Of Faith- which would still be along the same lines as beauty for ashes and God's redemptive work in my life. My blog posts will continue to show the traces of faith along this wonderful/awkward/uncomfortable journey that I call my life. The good news is that I will only be sharing this name with a band of men who look nothing like me, so I might be easier to spot. Hopefully.

So what do you think? Have you ever rebranded yourself? I need your input!! :)

Christian Guys, Side Hugs and The Friend Zone

Recently there has been a common theme in the conversations I’ve had with some of my girlfriends in the past several weeks, that theme being boys. Shocker, I know. But it’s the type of conversations we’ve had that really got me thinking. About a month ago I was approached with the opportunity to write about dating, love and lust for a new website in the making (that will be amazing by the way) and when my girlfriends found out about that, the questions began rolling in. Two questions stick out the most - how do I get out of the friend zone and how do I hang out with more guys? Well, if there is one thing I am not- it’s an expert in dating. I am not sure if you’ve noticed but my status on Facebook says Single, (which I’d like to change by the way to say nothing but I know there will be that one person who comments- Oh Traci, who are you in a relationship with? Well…no one. Now wasn’t that awkward.) But moving on, in addition to not being a dating guru, I am also not a stranger to the friend zone. In fact, I am so familiar with the friend zone that I have taken up residency there and you can find me cruising around the neighborhood on the third wheel.

So here I am answering questions over coffee about how to get out of the friend zone and then answering questions over sushi about how to hang out with more guys. I am so diverse. (and I threw coffee and sushi in there just so you could think I was more sophisticated. No shame.) I think I get asked this question because I have a lot of guy friends. Let me emphasize this, I have a lot of guy friends BUT I also have a lot of girl friends. There is nothing more irritating than hearing a girl say, “I am only friends with guys, there is too much drama with girls.” So you don’t have any girlfriends? That’s not sketchy AT ALL. Okay, back to trying to help a girlfriend hang out with more guys. My tip- just ask them to hang out! Things become awkward when you hesitate or get nervous then you send off vibes that you have a crush on the guy when that’s not really the case at all, you admire their friendship. I have guy friends that I go to football games with, play sports with, and heck I even have a guy friend that I ask to go to weddings with me. God has blessed with knowing some incredible men, and I am thankful for their friendship because I learn from them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having guy friends, as long as boundaries are clear, with not only them but in your own heart as well.

By now I am sure you’re wondering, HOW THE HECK DO I GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE?!?! Well, good question. I think I unintentionally put myself in the friend zone out of fear of rejection. It is easier to be friends with a guy than to say call me maybe? (Thank you Carly Rae Jepsen for supplying me with endless jokes) I also think that Christian guys make it harder for you to see the fine line between friendship and flirting- thank you infamous side hug. Now I am not bashing Christian guys, because HELLO, that is my top requirement, but dang is it hard to read them. They are sweet, nice, Jesus-loving, side-hug-giving, Bible toting, modern day Prince Charmings. Disney has nothing on these boys. But with such a welcoming personality, we find ourselves wondering- does he like me or does he just love Jesus? Oh the age old question. 

Now in a perfect world I would end this post having all the right answers, but the thing is I don’t know. I don’t know how you get out of the friend zone, because the problem is I am in the friend zone. So if you are in the zone with me, let’s do lunch or possibly go see Magic Mike…kidding. But if you are a fun-fearless female, please tell us HOW DO WE ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE? Comments are welcome and encouraged, preferably with kind and gentle words.

Signing off from the friend zone,

Traci Lynn

New Writing Opportunities

Well hello there old friends, I see that some of you have been checking out my blog and I apologize that there has been absolutely no new content. Serious blogger fail. I recently read a post over on Donald Miller's blog about how writers need to grow their platform, and that is exactly what I have been doing! I have had a couple writing offers that I am seriously excited about!! I am going to be reviewing tacos at local Austin joints for Taco Pollo. If you aren't familiar with my wonderful city let it be known that Austinites love their tacos! I will also be writing for a new up and coming blog for Christian woman. In addition to that I will be writing a burger review my my friend Colin's blog. Talk about fun!! While I have been building my platform and trying to grow an audience I have neglected the most important part- my own blog.

I feel like sometimes I need to have a long, thought provoking post but in reality I just need to write. Write about my experiences, and in the past couple months I've had a lot of them!! So here is a shift in my postings, some will be fun and witty but some will be just for writing practice. I can't neglect my blog just because not every post is amazing, right?

For those of you who don't know, I started up another blog but the new one is completely different. It's called Simply Sports and it is for women who know nothing about sports but want to understand them without doing all the dirty work. That's where I come in, I provide you with all the news in sports so you are a true sports fan, not one of those bandwagoners! :) So check it out if you get the chance! Remember it is just starting out but I'd love your feedback and for you to follow the site!

Talk you guys real soon!!

Open letter to the Class of 2012

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Congratulations seniors of 2012, you will now get to see this verse printed on every graduation gift imaginable. For me, I received this on a picture frame ten years ago, for you it might be printed on a t-shirt of a cute cuddly teddy bear, or how about a paperweight? Seriously, what freshman in college uses a paperweight? If you do and I just offended you, feel free to throw it at me. I strongly believe that this verse alone keeps LifeWay Christian bookstore afloat. Now before I sound like a blasphemous, self-proclaimed lover of Jesus, let's make it clear that I have nothing against this verse. I love this verse, and I love the context of which it is used in the Bible. What I hate is how the 17-year-old version of myself completely jacked up this verse to justify thinking I deserved everything I wanted in life.

In 2002, I emerged from my sheltered bubble I call private school, in other words- I graduated. I had big plans to attend Texas Tech University (Guns up!) and be involved in sports medicine. I had a foolproof plan and it only involved staying in school for four years. How hard could it be? After all, this was apart of God's plan to give me hope and a future. How can I have a future if I don't graduate college in four years? The thing is, I thought I knew what God's plan was but really it was just my plan and I made it sound like it was all his idea because it is what I told him what would happen when I prayed. (Stinkin' little brat I was!) Well for reasons beyond my control I was not able to finish school and I had to move back to Austin. Talk about a let down. I was confused. I thought God wasn't going to give me anything that would harm me; I had it on a picture frame for crying out loud! I was hurt, confused and probably annoying to everyone around me. Why was this happening to ME? Why did I have to tell the embarrassing news to all my friends? Why did I have to deal with this financial mess? I'm a good Christian after all.

"...then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." -Jeremiah 29:12

As time went on I began to grow bitter and depressed. All my friends were away at school and here I was throwing myself a pity party on the daily. I was living on my own and struggling a lot, and I started searching for things to find my worth in. Jeremiah 29:11 became a verse in which I used to argue against God- "You said you wouldn't harm me…you said you would give me plans to prosper me...this is not prospering!!" As time went on my church attendance was seriously lacking. I didn't want to be apart of the church college group because I wasn't technically in college and I got tired of being asked why I wasn't in school. I began searching for my self-worth in boys. (Dun, dun, dun) I just wanted someone to tell me I was good enough and to make me feel special. I began looking for approval from everyone, which was another one of my foolproof plans (sarcasm, of course). After years unfulfilling approval of man, I hit the bottom of what I like to call my pit.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13

From 2003-2007 I was a hot mess, a crazy lady if you will. For four years I was constantly searching for something or someone to make me feel validated and/or important. Serious fail. My constant searching turned into constant sadness. I was never happy, and it was because I wasn't looking in the one place I needed to be looking- God's word. I can't remember how I heard of it but I began reading a book by Beth Moore called Get Out Of That Pit. It is an amazing book and I recommend it for anyone struggling with approval idols and becoming a slave to your sin. This book, a long with the Bible began to transform my thoughts, which in turn began to transform my actions. I couldn't get enough of this new Jesus I found. I began seeing all the crappy situations I put myself in as huge blessings. Without Jesus, how can one look back on a relationship in which they were cheated on and be thankful for it because it brought me back to Christ? I started seeking God and I found a new version of him. I parted ways with the god of religion, rules and punishments and I was welcomed into a relationship with the God of the gospel, grace and freedom.

"I will be found by you," declares the Lord "and will bring you back from captivity..." -Jeremiah 29:14

If you would have told me ten years ago that nothing would have gone the way I was planning I would have hated you. Sorry, Christians can't hate...let's say I would have strongly disliked you and then shook my fist at you. I wouldn't have believed you, after all when you are a senior in high school you are on top of the world and the plans you have are indestructible (more sarcasm, imagine that). It took ten years for me to learn that God's plans for my life are the best ones imaginable. If God never took me out of my comfort zone I would have never discovered that I want to be a writer, I would have nothing to write about and I would not be doing what I believe my true calling from God is. God brought me back from the captivity I placed myself in. It was a long hard battle, but I am finally at peace with all the different life changes that I went through. I can finally say- Jesus, I trust you.

So graduating class of 2012, with your big day quickly approaching the only thing I can tell you is this- don't make Jeremiah 29:11 about you; make it about Jesus. Make it about the gospel and make it so that you are surrendering to the different life changes that may come your way. Pray that in your life Christ would be glorified, because when Christ is glorified is when you start living a life that is prosperous and full of hope.

Congratulations Class of 2012, YOU DID IT!! (Bet you didn't see that Legally Blonde reference coming, did you?)

Now Accepting Donations

Raise your hand if you have an iPad.
Well if you were here you would see that my hand is not raised. I've always wanted an iPad but could never really find a use for it in my life. That was until I started finding conferences I wanted to register for. Seriously, nothing says "I go to conferences" like an iPad. I thought I'd share some of the awesome conferences coming up and if you want to join me, feel free to holla.

Verge: Missional Community Conference (February 28-March 2, 2012) in Austin, TX

Killer Tribes Conference (March 31, 2012) in Nashville, TN
*My goodness, I have seriously debated about taking a road trip, this sounds amazing!*

Catalyst (May 9-11, 2012) in Dallas, TX

Living Proof Live with Beth Moore (July 13-14, 2012) in Cedar Park, TX

Looks like I'm going to have to get me one of them there fancy iPad machines, yeehaw!

How To Not Hate Valentine's Day

This is a story of how I snagged not one but five dates for Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry, I will share my tips for success and you too can be looking forward to February 14^th with the rest of us. Move over Millionaire Matchmaker, I got this.

So before you get all excited, or call me a playa (which I am not, I just crush a lot. Shout out to Fat Joe), you should know that I am related to all my dates. No, this isn’t some crazy story of backwoods country folk who marry their relatives (I just offended someone, I’m sure of it). Every Valentine’s Day my family goes out to dinner, exchange gifts and just enjoy each other’s company. I didn’t realize until recently how something so simple was so foreign to some people. I shall explain.

While at work I recently declared that I love Valentine’s day, which was quickly followed up with a coworkers response of: “Oh Traci, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend”…I don’t, and apparently everyone is in the know about it, thanks social media! I felt I needed to explain why I love a holiday that is despised by so many single people, and when I said it was because my family celebrates it together the response was met with unfamiliar gazes. That got me thinking, every year all the single ladies (you’re singing Beyonce now, aren’t you) brainstorm ideas on ways they can completely ignore the day, and some of those ideas involve chocolate ice cream and voodoo dolls. Women will confess that they hate men and the holiday is stupid. Girl please, we know you don’t hate men because come February 15^th you will be back to Facebook stalking your current crush. (I do not speak from experience; all of these thoughts and ideas come from extensive research.) I feel like Valentine’s Day brings out the worst insecurities in us. For some people it reminds them that they have been single for way too long and for others it brings back memories of relationships gone wrong. So get out of that Valentine’s Day rut by celebrating the people you love in your life, not by dwelling on the fact that your ring finger has been feeling a little cold lately.

So as a single lady or gentleman, embrace the idea and get creative. Make Valentine’s Day something you look forward to. Ladies, have a girl’s night that doesn’t involve a fire pit of ex-boyfriend photos, and find comfort in the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Men, gather your guy friends to watch a basketball game and spit or slap each others butts, you know, whatever y’all do when you’re together (I’m not judging). If you don’t have friends, which you should because that would be sad, be the first in your family to start the tradition of celebrating with each other. Gifts aren’t necessary but spending quality time together is. Get dressed up, make reservations and be an example to everyone out there that a day of celebrating love isn’t confined to a relationship or marriage.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

11 Things That Made 2011 Unique

This is my token end of the year post. 11 things that made this year unique or memorable, and some were not necessarily good things. So here is my 2011 recap, because I know you care that much. You do. Trust me.

In chronological order:

1. In February 2011 it snowed and for once it wasn't just flurries!! That, my non-Texas friends, is something to write home about. Or in my case, something to write a blog about.

2. On March 3rd I got in a wreck. That however is not worthy of making the list, because to be honest I think I have gotten in a wreck once a year for the past three years. The reason this event is #2 is because I got to drive a rental car that officially made me a Texan, because growing up for 27 years in Texas apparently is not enough. This, my friends, was the most awesome week of my life. (Not really for but dramatic reasons please play along, this is a New Year's post after all.)

3. If you have been my friend, or known of me, or even stalked me on Facebook at one time in your life it has been obvious that I am a HUGE fan of Dierks Bentley. One might say I am even in love with him, however you chose to word it, I'll take it. I had the opportunity to meet him on March 13th. Yes, I remember the exact date, and what I wore, and what he smelled like. (He smelled amazing by the way) He was super nice, and I almost threw up. We talked about sports, naturally, and I stepped on his foot and then we hit our heads together before taking this picture. All in all it was a good night.

4. This event is something I wish I didn't have to include on this list, but it is definitely something that changed the year, and for the whole family, the rest of our lives. My Grandpa passed away on April 3rd, 2011 after battling pancreatic cancer. We still miss him a lot and are thankful for the many things we learned from him.

5. This past Easter my church, The Austin Stone, held their Easter service at the Frank Erwin Center, a venue that houses many concerts and the Texas Longhorn basketball games. I think 13,000 people showed up to the service. Worshiping with that many people was absolutely ridiculous!

6. I went to a dinosaur park!! Yes, at the time I was 26 and I drove about 45 minutes to visit a dinosaur park. Trust me, it was awesome. I love dinosaurs so much that when I was little I used to carry around the "D" volume of the encyclopedia. You may never understand my love for dinosaurs, but it's okay, I won't judge you.

7. This event was a huge life change. If you know me, I am not a fan of change. I've had the same job for many years, and lived with my sister for 7 years but this past year we decided to part ways, mainly because we didn't want to turn into the Golden Girls. I moved out on my own. I am now a single girl in the city and I'm loving every moment of it. Here is a picture of my "easy bake" oven. I named it that because it is ridiculously small.

8. I've been a fan of the Dallas Mavericks for the past 5 years. The first NBA game I had ever been to was one of the Mavericks and I've followed them ever since. In June this past year they became NBA Champions. I took a picture of the screen on my iPhone the moment they won.

9. This past summer I got stung by my first bee, and what do you know I'M ALLERGIC to them. That sucker swelled up like nobody's business. Look here is a picture to show my discomfort.

10. My birthday this year was spent eating dinner at my favorite restaurant, Galaxy Cafe, and then bowling with my girl friends. This deserves to be on the list because we were celebrating my birth, and let's be honest, without my birth this list would not exist.

11. And last but not least, I finally got to visit the Gypsy Picnic here in Austin. This event is held every year (well this was only the 2nd year but let's keep with the dramatic effect) and it's held downtown. There are about 20 different trailers from food places around Austin outlining the park and you can walk to different vendors and buy samples of their food. If you are a fan of food it was amazing, and I love me some food!!

Thanks for recapping the year 2011 with me. I plan on having fun in 2012, so here's to another year of life changes and awkward experiences. (I'm looking at you, Mayan calendar!!)