Recently there has been a common theme in the conversations
I’ve had with some of my girlfriends in the past several weeks, that theme
being boys. Shocker, I know. But it’s the type of conversations we’ve had that
really got me thinking. About a month ago I was approached with the opportunity
to write about dating, love and lust for a new website in the making (that will
be amazing by the way) and when my girlfriends found out about that, the
questions began rolling in. Two questions stick out the most - how do I get out of the friend zone
and how do I hang out with more guys? Well, if there is one thing I am not- it’s an
expert in dating. I am not sure if you’ve noticed but my status on Facebook
says Single, (which I’d like to
change by the way to say nothing but I know there will be that one person who
comments- Oh Traci, who are you in a relationship with? Well…no one. Now wasn’t
that awkward.) But moving on, in addition to not being a dating guru, I am also
not a stranger to the friend zone. In fact, I am so familiar with the friend
zone that I have taken up residency there and you can find me cruising around
the neighborhood on the third wheel.
So here I am answering questions over coffee about how to
get out of the friend zone and then answering questions over sushi about how to
hang out with more guys. I am so diverse. (and I threw coffee and sushi in
there just so you could think I was more sophisticated. No shame.) I think I
get asked this question because I have a lot of guy friends. Let me emphasize
this, I have a lot of guy friends BUT I also have a lot of girl friends. There
is nothing more irritating than hearing a girl say, “I am only friends with
guys, there is too much drama with girls.” So you don’t have any girlfriends?
That’s not sketchy AT ALL. Okay, back to trying to help a girlfriend hang out
with more guys. My tip- just ask them to hang out! Things become awkward when
you hesitate or get nervous then you send off vibes that you have a crush on the guy when
that’s not really the case at all, you admire their friendship. I have guy
friends that I go to football games with, play sports with, and
heck I even have a guy friend that I ask to go to weddings with me. God has
blessed with knowing some incredible men, and I am thankful for their
friendship because I learn from them. I don’t think there is anything wrong
with having guy friends, as long as boundaries are clear, with not only them
but in your own heart as well.
By now I am sure you’re wondering, HOW THE HECK DO I GET OUT
OF THE FRIEND ZONE?!?! Well, good question. I think I unintentionally put
myself in the friend zone out of fear of rejection. It is easier to be friends
with a guy than to say call me maybe? (Thank you Carly Rae Jepsen for supplying
me with endless jokes) I also think that Christian guys make it harder for you
to see the fine line between friendship and flirting- thank you infamous side
hug. Now I am not bashing Christian guys, because HELLO, that is my top
requirement, but dang is it hard to read them. They are sweet, nice,
Jesus-loving, side-hug-giving, Bible toting, modern day Prince Charmings.
Disney has nothing on these boys. But with such a welcoming personality, we
find ourselves wondering- does he like me or does he just love Jesus? Oh the
age old question.
Now in a perfect world I would end this post having all the
right answers, but the thing is I don’t know. I don’t know how you get out of
the friend zone, because the problem is I am in the friend zone. So if you are
in the zone with me, let’s do lunch or possibly go see Magic Mike…kidding. But
if you are a fun-fearless female, please tell us HOW DO WE ESCAPE THE FRIEND
ZONE? Comments are welcome and encouraged, preferably with kind and gentle
words.
Signing off from the friend zone,
Traci Lynn
2 comments:
Fellow friend zoned gal here!
Can't help but read into everything this guy does or say to be and it drives me crazy! Does he like me, is he too nervous to jump at the chance, or is he simply being that untouchable prince charming!?!
If only that truth serum from harry potter existed!
Hello Friend zone neighbors! I'm a guy and a truth I have (which is not true for all believer guys) is that what I was searching for is a God fearing talented girl ( the whole normal jazz that guys say about what they want) but i also wanted someone who can be counted as completely different from the world's standards and someone I can count on. I like to study people as a hobby and as I looked into it, everyone was predictable accept one type of person. A God fearing person. When I thought about all the colors of personalities I figured that I wanted someone who was unique. I mean most guys are into the physical stuff, but I'm a man of purity and I'm interested in the mind of the opposite.
As for what you can do to move out of the friend zone, I might suggest that you try making yourself less available to hang out. This might sound crazy but if a guy has some sort of attraction to you they will think of you a little more then you think. I know I do. If you look at it in the form of sweets... (because hanging out with someone you like is like eating chocolate). If you eat to much chocolate you're going to get sick. If you form a boundary of moderation and fill in the extra time with your interests (get busy) it will show the guy that you have something else that consumes your time and that time is precious.
I don't know if this will help. But the chances of this ruining this advice altering your friendships in a bad way is low.
SO! Good luck with your endeavors and God speed be with you! :)
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