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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Am Made For Another World

I am a huge fan of C.S. Lewis' writing, especially the Chronicles of Narnia series, but I do enjoy the thought provoking quotes that can be found in all his books. One of my favorite quotes of all time is one from Mere Christianity, and it goes a little something like this:

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

I am such a huge fan of this quote because it embodies something that I have been feeling within me for the past couple years. I have had this strong desire to love and seek my Lord with everything in me. I can't explain it to anyone who does not believe, it is only something that can be felt and then you will know exactly what I mean. I have never seen God, I have never heard his actual voice, but yet I have this desire to love him everyday and never give up on believing in Him, even when others think it's silly. I have that desire that C.S. Lewis is referring to! But until last week, I didn't know it.

Let me now tell you how I came to this realization. Last Friday I went to dinner at Zen...by myself...and I was relieved and excited to run into my friend Bryan Ford. We were able to eat dinner together which was wonderful because we haven't been able to coordinate our schedules lately so that we could actually see each other. *Side note* I love that when I spend time with Bryan our conversations are centered around God and how he is working in our lives. After asking each other how our lives have been since the last time we saw each other, we began talking about how our churches are doing. I am so excited to see Bryan's church growing and that he gets to be apart of that. I made a comment that was something along the lines of: "I love church, I wish I could stay there all day, everyday and never have to deal with the outside world." Bryan responded with something that made this quote truly speak to me, he said: "That is what heaven is for, until then we have to work for the Gospel." I wanted to scream TRUE THAT!!! It all made sense, that desire that I have can only be fulfilled by another world because that other world is heaven!! Heaven will only satisfy these desires because that is where my Lord lives, that is where I can praise Him for days and not have to go anywhere. I love that God has blessed me with several friends over the past couple years that get it, they get that desire, they have it too and I can't wait to experience it with them!

I have many thoughts and feelings going on inside this body of mine that reassure my relationship with God. I feel joy, peace and conviction (not one of my favorite feelings but it does keep me on the straight path). These feelings are caused by someone that I cannot see, hear or feel yet they are so real to me. His peace gets me through the day, His joy makes the hardships bearable and the convictions help me to see that this life is not my own. I experience thoughts that I am not capable of creating on my own, and that helps me to see that my life is guided by Christ. I find myself wanting to help others for no reason and that is the work of the Gospel. I could go on and on about things that I think or feel that aren't in my nature, I am selfish with my time and money yet I want to give and volunteer. I am picky about who I date and show PDA with, yet sometimes I just want to hug a homeless person. That is Jesus at work, because without Him I would never want to do those things. These feelings are so hard to explain to someone who doesn't know Jesus, and they probably think I am crazy, but it's ok I'd rather be crazy in love with my Savior than in love with the world.

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