I am at work, until about 9PM, and I am starving. I have already eaten all the "snacks" that I brought and I want more. Why do I feel like I want to eat everything in sight? Why can't my stomach be satisfied. I thought to myself: "Is this why I don't have a boyfriend?" I hate it when I think that, which I do a lot because I tend to do a lot of silly things. I like to make unattractive faces, wear long basketball shorts because they are way more comfortable than booty shorts, and my favorite: I laugh like a man sometimes. I promised myself this year I wouldn't dwell on why I don't have a boyfriend and instead dwell on this: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 139:14) I hate those thoughts that sneak into your mind when you do something that is silly, unattractive or down right embarrassing, thoughts of imperfections and failure. We all have those thoughts, and isn't it nice to know that they aren't from God and so we know without a shadow of a doubt that since they aren't from him, he will take care of it. Awesome. He will take care of it when we call out to him knowing that he can do it. So I am starting to transform my thoughts into words straight from the Bible. I had to memorize scripture as I was growing up but now it is nice to finally see why that is soooo important. At times when I don't have my Bible but I feel defeated, God replaces the negative thoughts with these promises:
When I am alone in a not so safe place:
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17
When I feel stuck in a rut or useless:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6
When I am obsessing over my future:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
And of course, my daily reminder that I am special even though I don't look like I just rolled out of a Victoria Secret catalog:
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalms 139:14
It is kind of ironic that I love to read and memorize scripture now because throughout my school years I would cheat on my weekly memory verse quizzes. Yes, I admit it, I cheated. I would cheat all the time. If I could go back to Jr. High Traci, I would kick her in the shins for being so stupid. I would tell her to not treat God's word like that. I think it is because I was so used to "religion" and never saw it as a gift more like a lifestyle that I had to live because I went to a christian school. Well now no one is forcing me to love God, to want to read his word and I love it. I love him and I love his promises.
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