"I'm good God, but thanks anyway..."

Have you ever sat through a sermon that just convicts the crap out of you? Well if not podcast Austin Stone's sermon for this past Sunday and then answer that question again. We are focusing on a two week series called "And you are healed." Sounds amazing right? Everyone wants to be healed, but it is the process of getting there that makes me cringe! Matt spoke of a verse in James 5:16 that went a little something like this:
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
So....God wants me to confess my sins to other people, huh? Even all the dirty details that makes me look like a fake? I don't know about that. Through out the sermon God was speaking to me, actually it was more like he was standing in my face with a megaphone saying "Listen up girl, this is for you!!" Well I heard him, loud and clear, but I get scared when God speaks to me like that. I get scared because I know that when God speaks to me that clearly he means business, he is ready to wreck shop! He was telling me that the sin that I have been dealing with for the past several years needs to come to light and peace out. I like the sound of that, after all who wants to be burdened daily in their walk, but I don't know about telling other people about it. That scares me, to have someone look at me differently and know the real me. God knows the real me, and he still loves me but why am I scared to tell others. I cry out to my Savior often, but why can't I tell someone one little secret? Is my pride more important to me than the sin that is manifesting itself in my heart. Honestly, that seems to be the case. I wish I could tell God "No thank you." but he just keeps reminding me to confess. He reminds me through songs, sermons, and a variety of different things and I know he won't stop until I do what he asks.
I am pulling a Jonah right now, I am running the other way but I wonder what will be the big fish in my life that consumes me and makes me confess. I wish I could do it, I know that I am strong enough in Christ to do it...but I am just too scared to act on it.

So here I am, consumed with the struggle to just spit the words out.
I'm gonna do it...I have to.