25 things I've learned/experienced by the age of 25.

On Wednesday I turned 25 and it got me thinking...what have I learned/experienced in the past year leading up to my 25th birthday? Well I made a list (in no specific order):

1. God has shown me the true meaning of a "church family". I have been apart of a church all my life but it hasn't been until I joined a small group at Austin Stone that I now know what it is like to live in Christ with one another. I can count on these girls for prayer or meeting up for coffee just to talk and get weekly encouragement. How awesome! My church family does not only include my small group but God has given me a ton of different friends that attend the same church as I do. It is awesome to live a life surrounded by people who serve the same God!


2. I have learned that no matter how much my heart aches, God's grace is that much better!

3. I have also learned that God gives you friends in the most unlikely places. He turned "enemies" and strangers into some pretty significant people in my life.

4. I learned how to make Indian food with my small group:


5. I have learned that my "little" brother is not so little anymore. I now use him as a form of protection....and that is weird!


6. I think that my dog's intestines are made of steel. Seriously, I have learned that he can eat anything and not die. Examples: A platter of chocolate cup cakes, a 2 week old piece of chicken, 2 of his collars and numerous chew toys.


7. You are never too old to get slapped around a bit by your mom when you sass her.

8. I have learned that even though you aren't texting or putting on make up you can still get into a very serious car accident that totals your car!!!

(Doesn't look bad from this angle, but the other side was demolished after my SUV flipped on its side and slid on the pavement for several yards before landing on top of a stop sign! I am still a tad bit bitter.)

9. I now know that even when you are taken out of your comfort zone and feel alone...God is ALWAYS there!

10. God takes away a job or a someone you care about so that you grow closer to Him in your suffering.

11. The Tech vs. UT football game is by far one of the BEST sporting events I have ever attended!!!!



(Such a great day it deserves 3 pictures!)

12. I have learned that when you experience something that completely wrecks your mind it can only be a God thing!!! That is such an awesome feeling, to experience something you can't explain in your own words!

13. I now know that if you take long enough to exit the highway while getting pulled over by DPS they might just get annoyed with you and drive off. I was just trying to find a safe place for him to get out of his car instead of on the side of I-35...geez!!

14. I have experienced the joys of iChatting and it is now one of my addictions.



15. I experienced my first wedding that wasn't for a relative but my very own friend. My first friend to get married followed by many others!


16. I have learned that when you take on my family, if you mess with the bull you get the horns. I learned that lesson courtesy of private school moms. Just sayin...

17. I have experienced my very first road trip with friends! Weird huh? It took almost 25 years for me to take a trip with only friends, no family. Haha.


18. I learned that I don't need to be on the other side of the world to do Christ's work. I am where I am because He is using me, and it is awesome to see that!!

19. I have heard God calling me by name, assuring me that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6). AMAZING.

20. I learned how to assemble a book case...and it only took me 3 hours using nothing but a Swiss Army knife. Yikes.

21. I now know better than to spend 4 years living in an apartment on the 3rd floor...because it takes 5 looooong days to clean it out!!!

22. I have FINALLY experienced kayaking on Town lake. What an awesome thing to do!

23. I discovered the addiction that is BRAVO TV! Who knew so many good shows existed?!?!?!

24. I have finally watched a full season of The Office!

25. I know that my God is mighty to save.

The end.

Ok God, you got me. I'm back.

To say that the past couple of weeks have been hard would be an understatement. I have allowed myself to be in a situation that was neither glorifying to God or respectful to myself. Let's just say I've been down right selfish. I could justify my actions by saying that "I'm only human" but at the same time a voice inside screams "You are a human that loves Jesus!! It's time to get it right and stay that way!!" Ok little voice, you win.

I am only human, and I do fail, but as a Christian it is my job to take that excuse and bury it. "I'm only human" just isn't cutting it anymore. That excuse has caused me too many tears, too much regret and more than enough sorrow. Christ came to offer me the gift of salvation so that in return I would not have to be burdened by that excuse. That is the best gift I have ever received, so why don't I act like it? Why can't I live my life basking in the glory of my Savior instead of hiding in the shadows of my sin...

I feel like I have a weird relationship with my God. I love him, boy do I love him, but I can't seem to keep myself focused on him. I acknowledge him daily but I also let other people get in the way. I have a tendency of keeping God at an arms length when things are good only to find that I soon get knocked back down on my face to see that my God is still in control. So here is what I have to say: "Ok God, I am here! You have me on my knees, on my face, don't you see the worry?? What do you ask of me this time??" God hasn't answered me just yet, I think it is because I was being a little bit demanding. I can just see God saying "Oh no she didn't" but only in the nicest way possible because that's just how he is!

If I was face to face with God right now, still wallowing in my self pity and somehow being stupid enough to ignore the fact that I was in the presence of his glory, I see the conversation going something like this:

Me: Ok God, you got me. I'm back. Was that last heartache really necessary?
God: I love you my child and I just want you to see that you have that already, no need to search for it.
Me: Yes, I know you love me but why can't I just have earthly love too...just this once? I promise I will love you too.
God: You promise me every time, but I have yet to take the front seat in your relationships.
Me: That was then, this is now. Pinky promise. I am on my knees, doesn't that count for something??
God: Everything I do is for your good, I will never hurt you. All things work together for my glory.
Me: Touche God, touche.

Eventually I have to give up, quit the charade and give in. I try to give in every time but I only do it half heartedly. What if this time I dive in head first? Surrender my desires to God and be completely content with only the things he supplies me with? Oh what a life that would be. Here we go, round 2 of getting out of that pit.

You're so perfect, I'm so broken. Here You come with arms wide open, chasing after me down every road. You're always waiting there.

Ran-dumb.

It's time for some funny stuff. Things that have no purpose or meaning. Things that you don't have to contemplate on. Let's get it.

Dawn:
"What is the opposite of caring?"
Me:
"Uh...uncaring."

"I once dated a guy that reeked of Lucifer." (It's true, he was just down right evil.)

While out to dinner with the family:
Matthew: (yells in the restaurant) "Aw man, I got beans on my face!"

Leslie:
"You date guys that lift weights and I date guys that are skinny and look like they are on drugs."

Pictures John sends me via BlackBerry Messenger to cheer me up lol:




I am not the vulgar type, but this is just funny. Look at the sticker next to the McCain one:

I Don't Date [Revisited]

I once read a blog written by a girl titled "I don't date." The title alone captured my attention and I thought to myself "How could a girl my age not want to date?" As I proceeded to read, I discovered that this girl knows her stuff! Her heart longed for a relationship but she was discovering it in her Creator not mankind. She was being patient with her prayers and seeking God daily instead of a guy to date. After reading this I immediately thought "I want that!!" Easier said than done. Funny how we can speak things with such conviction but we are too scared to act upon it.

I told myself I was going to change my heart, but when it came down to doing it I failed. I failed because it is uncomfortable, and it is hard! Don't get me wrong, I love my God with all my heart, but I have fears and sometimes I let my fears be bigger than my God. It has been over a year and I have not done what I wanted to do. I do that way more often than I should, I rest in my comfort zone even when that zone becomes hazardous. One of my wisest friends once told me this last time I didn't follow God's calling: "Traci, you have to listen to what God is telling you, because if you don't he will pick you up and put you right where He wants you. It is going to be hard for you to adjust at first but it will be great in the end." I should really learn my lesson.

This past week God has picked me up and put me in a place that I don't like: Disappointment. I think He allowed me to continue down my path of dating around so that I could learn a bigger lesson. I think that lesson is "Do what you promise God you are going to do!" I think it took disappointment in dating for me to feel a stirring in my heart. I believe that it is natural for my heart to long for comfort, but I wasn't searching in the right place. I read God's word and I worshiped, but I wasn't letting it sink into the core of my heart.

I am trying to adjust to the change God has brought in my life. I don't like where I am at, but I am excited to find out what I will learn this time. My heart aches but it is aching for Him. I am yearning for Him to fix this mess. I am learning that sometimes being broken is the best form of worship. I am uncomfortable, broken and anxious but so far I am finding that it is the perfect place to begin a change in my heart.

Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?