Hard Questions.

Every now and then a topic comes along and buries itself in my mind. I can't stop thinking about it, I dwell on it and it manifests itself in my every day thoughts. For some reason this topic was a big one, one that I would need God's help in trying to figure out: How do I know there is a God? Why do I believe what I believe? Woah, talk about big stuff. Why was God putting this in my mind? I know that I believe so why was he wanting me to explain it...to myself? Why did the thoughts cross my mind everyday? I couldn't figure out why I kept thinking about that question, it's not like I live in a land where I defend my faith on a daily basis. I have been a believer for awhile and no one has ever flat out asked me that question (until now). I began thinking of bullet points that would outline the sequence of thoughts if I was ever to be approached with that question. All I could come up with was things that I had felt or heard from God. How do you explain to someone that you feel God, or hear Him? A unbeliever would think I sit around petting and talking to a burning bush, and that is just absurd. You never want to start out witnessing to someone with them thinking you are crazy, I just don't see that playing out very well. So I began to get frustrated, I wanted to be poetic like C.S. Lewis and spitting out theology left and right like Mark Driscoll, but I am just Traci and I am neither poetic or a theologian, so I had to put my feelings into words. With God leading the way I couldn't go wrong, right? Riiiighhht.

I was contacted via email by a guy who wanted to know more about my faith, he was confused and wanted answers. Well, this is what God was preparing me for and this was His time to shine. After a couple email exchanges, the time came (last night) when I got asked about my faith. Dun dun dun, all those thoughts and feelings had to be put into words, where would I begin, how would I say "God spoke to me" without sounding like a complete loon. Well, I put myself aside and prayed that the Holy Spirit would speak through me, that the words I typed out would not be my own but His. In the end I wanted to say "these are God's words, not mine." So I began to type, my fingers were like speed demons, no pun intended, and the Holy Spirit was on a roll.

I thought it would be cool to share our conversation so far. I understand that I am not perfect, I am not a preacher and my response might not meet up to your expectations but I know God is working through this and that is good enough for me. :) This guy will be known as "guy" and I will not reveal who is he or where he is from, I want to keep this private and sacred because it is so stinkin cool for God to be doing this!!

Guy: I would love to be encouraged by your faith. I am confused and would like to hear your take on God.

Traci: No need to be confused, the best thing about Him is that you can come as you are and He transforms your life. :)

Guy: I have known him and can't understand a lot of things. I just believed whatever the pastor said before, and found a lot of flaws. Yahweh which is the Hebrew name for God demands faith which I know you understand. However, there are so many things in the bible that are not logical. On the flip side, there are so many things that make sense to me. The only thing right now that keeps me still drawn in, is fear of the eternal flames that have been embedded in my mind.

Traci: This is a pretty loaded email, and while I don't have all the answers I feel like I can pass along some things to you that can give you peace and maybe breathe a little
lighter about the situation.

I know you said that you don't understand a lot of things and they don't seem logical so I am not going to bombard you with a lot of theology. That is the great part about "knowing" God, to be a believer you don't have to be a Bible scholar, it's about faith and trust and believing that what He did on the cross was true. When you believe that and your relationship with God begins to grow, He starts revealing things to you. I am not talking about God speaking in a booming voice and burning bushes, I think God speaks to me when I have convictions or guilt, or when something just clicks in my mind that I know I am not capable of coming up with myself. I know there is a God, not because I have seen Him but because I feel Him, I feel Him when I don't want to be nice to people but I know that I have to, or when I help people in need even if I am struggling financially or just not in the mood. The gospel isn't about rules, it is acknowledging that we are broken and in need of a Savior, it is when you give up your need to figure everything out that you can really enjoy that relationship with God. It becomes intimate and personal. Even when I have a bad day, or I feel guilt and regret, it is so awesome to have that voice in the back of my mind that says it's ok and God is bigger, and that voice is the Holy Spirit.

I have been a Christian for almost 16 years and I still don't understand all the scientific and theological facts behind some Bible stories but I just trust that everything in God's word in true and perfect. If I believe that the Gospel saves me, and that is from God's word, then I have to have a peace about all the other things the Bible says as well, it is not my place to pick and choose what I can believe.

I hope this helps you out a little bit, and like I said the more you spend time seeking God (in prayer or in His word) He will begin to speak to you, help you understand and all the doubts begin to fade and you just have this desire to learn more about Him.

God's word has promised us that as a believer we don't have to worry about those eternal flames. He has conquered and overcome it and it is through His mercy that we are saved from that! Pretty awesome, huh? :)

I hope this helps you a bit, and I know I don't have all the answers but please feel free to ask anything else.

Hope you had a good day!
Traci


So that is how I explained my faith, with no theology required. While I love theology, and learning more about God, I just couldn't put the way I see and feel God into big holy words. I experienced something more than that a couple years ago, I experienced grace, love and mercy. I experienced forgiveness when I shouldn't have been forgiven at all. God could have left me in that pit, but He called me out and hasn't let go of me since. Shouldn't everyone hear about of those feelings? :)