New season, going through the same motions.

Fall came back to Austin, Texas in a big way. After hot summer days with highs in the 100's, the first day of fall brought in rain, and dare I say it...a "cold front". Temperatures in the 60's and I wasn't sweating, woohoo! The seasons weren't the only things that were changing, God was also changing my thoughts and plans. I have become restless with what I want to do with my life.

For the past couple years I was a coach and that was my identity: Coach Barrera. I liked working with my girls every year and having them come to me for advice outside of sports, it was comforting to feel loved by so many wonderful girls! Coaching filled that void that I had after being frustrated with not being able to finish college. Even though I wasn't in school, I had a job that, to me, meant something and my self worth went through the roof! God took that away from me back in May '08. I should have seen it coming, after all I did pray for Him to shake up my life a little bit and He did just that!

I have spent the past year and a half running through the motions. I work two jobs on a daily basis, I am single and have about 0 responsibilities. Sounds good right, but somehow I still want more. I want a title again. Yesterday I began to think and my thoughts went a little something like this: Ok Trace (yes sometimes I call myself Trace), God brought you back to Austin for a reason, you are single for a reason, you have two jobs that are incredibly flexible for a reason...and what are you doing with all these "blessings"?

BLESSINGS????? I have spent the past 6 years seeing them as burdens NOT blessings!! I have spent the past 6 years trying to figure out what I am here for and why I haven't dated anyone in 2 and 1/2 years and why I don't have a title anymore?!?! See the theme: ME. ME. ME. I have pretty much spent the past several years doing the same things over and over: working my butt off and dwelling on all the "don't haves" in my life.

God is teaching me to have a "so what" attitude. So what I don't have a degree or a husband or a job in which I get a company credit card, I can still be used for anything. I have a stinkin' nice apartment, a dog that loves me even though I make fun of him, and I have a job that gives me sooo much extra time. And what do I do with that extra time? Nothing. Well that was until yesterday.

Yesterday I decided it was time to stop running through these motions, it's time to do something different and ACT on it. I decided I needed to stop looking at the volunteer opportunities on the church website and start signing up for some! I needed to stop dwelling on the fact that my life isn't like all the others I graduated high school with, it is different and it is about dang time I start making the most of it. I don't want to focus on all the things that haven't gone right and focus on all the things I can be doing and see where God takes me from there!

Oh, how good He is and how He never fails us. This should be fun! I wonder what it is like to live a life where the only thing that matters is what God wants you to do. I want to be successful in the eyes of my Lord and how can I do that when I am looking into the eyes of others?

Brotha!!

As I was flipping through iPhoto trying to organize some photos, I realized that a certain pose with my brother has become a reoccurring theme. Take a gander!

Fight Raiders Fight, Fight Raiders Fight...

Only one more week until the Texas Tech vs. Texas Football Game.
In memory of last years game, here is an AMAZING video!

Star struck for my Savior?

Today Jessica Alba came into Starbucks, needless to say we have been star struck ever since. We are bragging to all our friends and telling anyone that will listen. We have had a couple celebrities come in but I think she is by far the most famous. It was a cool experience, we played it cool and hopefully she will come back in since she is filming down the street.
It is interesting to find myself so star struck, I admit I have been a fan of her. I love her style and her movies are always good so what's not to like. On the drive home I got to thinking: "If I am this enamored by another human being, what will it be like when I come face to face with Jesus?" I don't think about eternity often, mainly because I get frustrated that I can't wrap my head around FOREVER! I also view eternity as a right instead of a gift. Since I grew up in the church I learned that when I die I will go to heaven, it seems like the next logical step instead of the greatest gift of all. I am not sure how messed up this will sound but sometimes I wish I came to know Christ in my early twenties, so that way I could know what it is like see a complete change in the life I was living. I would think that would make me ten times more excited to meet my Savior instead of the feelings I am struggling with now. I know I will be happy to meet Jesus, how could I not be, but while I am here on earth why does that thought not excite me as much as it should? Is something wrong with me? I love God so much it's ridiculous but why does the thought of eternity not surpass every other feeling in the world?
I have been dealing with a lot of junk, I have been letting other people's actions control my thoughts and feelings and I hate that we fall into that trap. I think the junk is over shadowing God's goodness and His power to overcome it all. I am working on cleaning up shop so that the Gospel will genuinely excite me! I know this started off as a blog about Jessica Alba and that quickly turned into a blog about eternity but that is just how God works. He uses certain experiences in our life to get us thinking about our relationship with Him. He is just that good!

Sunday evening stroll.

I decided that on this beautiful Sunday evening I would take a walk up to my neighborhood Starbucks just to talk to Dawn via iChat. I figured it would add some excitement to the situation instead of just sitting in my room. So I packed up my trusty North Face backpack and hit the road. About 5 minutes into the walk I realized that putting a lot of stuff in the bag was a bad idea, my back starting aching and like usual my knee was giving me a hard time, what a lovely way to start this evening stroll. In addition to that, I found myself playing on Facebook on my phone instead of taking in the sites. Man, God has really spruced up the place around the Arboretum, the trees are bright green and flowers everywhere. I felt bad for being zoned in on my phone...so I stopped.
I finally made it to Starbucks, well it only took 10 minutes I make it sound like it took an eternity, and I got my weekly mark out. For those of you who don't know, employees of Starbucks get one free pound of coffee or box of tea a week, and since I have an assortment of 14 teas at home and don't drink coffee I decided to get a pound for John. When I gave the cashier my "partner numbers" she seemed kinda skeptical about me actually working there. She asked "What store do you work at?" (and included a blank stare) and I politely replied with my store location when in reality I wanted to say "Woman, don't question me!" but I figure that would not be the Godly thing to do.
As I awkwardly searched the cafe for a place to sit (all the good spots were taken) I finally settled on a table nestled quietly near the window. I would be sitting very close to two guys but that is ok, they looked nice. I whipped out my MacBook (apparently it is the computer of choice amongst all the customers in here, we are a living Mac commercial) I searched for the ATT network connection and found one titled "Deaf Guy", I assume that it is the network belonging to the guys sitting next to me since they are deaf. I feel like a horrible person for finding this ironically funny (is that a phrase?) but I figure if they have a sense of humor about it then I can giggle a little too.
I didn't order a drink, I rarely ever order drinks at Starbucks mainly because I drink about 2 or 3 a day at work, but I did bring in one of my Awake tea bags from home, which had me question...Am I ghetto? Am I because I bring in my very own tea bag and use their internet? To add to that I asked for a tall cup of hot water and used their Splenda! I am trying to convince myself I am not since after all I am an employee of this corporate establishment. What do they expect from me after all? To pay for tea when I have a collection of my very own at home that I got from Starbucks? I will use that in my defense. So I am not ghetto, I am just economically smart. I know the in's and out's of this place, and I am using it to my advantage. There we go, problem solved.
I do enjoy that I probably look like I am writing some intense paper about predestination (been there, done that) but I am just blogging about stealing hot water from Starbucks and questioning my cheap tendencies...but no one has to know that. I am doing something that I find very important, I am contributing to my blog! I want to be a professional blog writer, one who sits in coffee shops and drinks tea while blogging about their daily mishaps. That's the life, but until then I will be the one who works behind the counter serving coffee and tea to those very important, lap top toting, writers. Jealous.

Wreck 'Em Tech!

In honor of the first game day for the 2009 Texas Tech football season, here are some crazy pictures that would only come from a football team up in West Texas!

Michael Crabtree interview on ESPN after his game winning touchdown against Texas! (2008)



Mike Leach's parking spot at the Texas Tech football stadium:



September Issue of Texas Monthly: Mike Leach is the best football coach in the country? I concur!

I want to fall in love with You.

I gave one of my best friends this little frog for her birthday last year, about a month later she found the guy she is planning on marrying. For my birthday she returned the gift to me hoping that I would have the same luck she did. It has been a month and so far nothing. I have yet to find my frog prince, I have yet to have someone find my glass slipper or have someone wake me from my sleep with a magical kiss; but I have found the love of my Savior, so why is that not enough? I love displaying this little frog on my counter because it reminds me that one of my best friends is so happy in love and that is awesome, but at the same time I am holding out that it brings me a little luck! :) I wish that I could wake up everyday and seek the love of my God instead of the love of man. I know that the love of my God is never ending and I will never ever run out of things to learn about Him, so I need to keep seeking...every day, every hour and every minute! By just writing this blog, God is letting me know that I need to seek His love and my frog prince will follow. So here is to a new adventure: seeking the LOVE of my God.