Identity Crisis

As a blogger I am having quite the identity crisis. When I started this blog four years ago I didn't think it would be a huge part of something that I wanted to do with my life. It was actually a way for me to write and for you to validate me, if we are being completely honest. But now this whole writing thing, it's what I want to do with my life- YOLO. I also named it Beauty For Ashes because I began writing it after a not-so-great time in my life, but now I find myself wanting to change my blog name. I started brainstorming last night and it didn't take long for me to think of something. Now you might be thinking- why would you want to change your blog name? Well for one, people have a hard time googling this site and there are a ton of Beauty For Ashes pages on Facebook. I want to stand out, and I want to make this blog as easy as possible to find.

I came up with a name last night and your job as the reader is to tell me how awesome it is...or how incredibly dumb it is, either one. If you chose to tell me the latter, just remember you might have to see me face to face one day...and good luck with that. Kidding. Okay, so as many of you know a lot of people call me Trace. It has been a nickname that I've had since I was a little kid...probably a young fetus too. Anyway everyone and their mom, literally, calls me Trace...even this one lady at Starbucks that I don't know very well and I can't remember how I met her. So I came up with the new blog name Traces Of Faith- which would still be along the same lines as beauty for ashes and God's redemptive work in my life. My blog posts will continue to show the traces of faith along this wonderful/awkward/uncomfortable journey that I call my life. The good news is that I will only be sharing this name with a band of men who look nothing like me, so I might be easier to spot. Hopefully.

So what do you think? Have you ever rebranded yourself? I need your input!! :)

Christian Guys, Side Hugs and The Friend Zone

Recently there has been a common theme in the conversations I’ve had with some of my girlfriends in the past several weeks, that theme being boys. Shocker, I know. But it’s the type of conversations we’ve had that really got me thinking. About a month ago I was approached with the opportunity to write about dating, love and lust for a new website in the making (that will be amazing by the way) and when my girlfriends found out about that, the questions began rolling in. Two questions stick out the most - how do I get out of the friend zone and how do I hang out with more guys? Well, if there is one thing I am not- it’s an expert in dating. I am not sure if you’ve noticed but my status on Facebook says Single, (which I’d like to change by the way to say nothing but I know there will be that one person who comments- Oh Traci, who are you in a relationship with? Well…no one. Now wasn’t that awkward.) But moving on, in addition to not being a dating guru, I am also not a stranger to the friend zone. In fact, I am so familiar with the friend zone that I have taken up residency there and you can find me cruising around the neighborhood on the third wheel.

So here I am answering questions over coffee about how to get out of the friend zone and then answering questions over sushi about how to hang out with more guys. I am so diverse. (and I threw coffee and sushi in there just so you could think I was more sophisticated. No shame.) I think I get asked this question because I have a lot of guy friends. Let me emphasize this, I have a lot of guy friends BUT I also have a lot of girl friends. There is nothing more irritating than hearing a girl say, “I am only friends with guys, there is too much drama with girls.” So you don’t have any girlfriends? That’s not sketchy AT ALL. Okay, back to trying to help a girlfriend hang out with more guys. My tip- just ask them to hang out! Things become awkward when you hesitate or get nervous then you send off vibes that you have a crush on the guy when that’s not really the case at all, you admire their friendship. I have guy friends that I go to football games with, play sports with, and heck I even have a guy friend that I ask to go to weddings with me. God has blessed with knowing some incredible men, and I am thankful for their friendship because I learn from them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having guy friends, as long as boundaries are clear, with not only them but in your own heart as well.

By now I am sure you’re wondering, HOW THE HECK DO I GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE?!?! Well, good question. I think I unintentionally put myself in the friend zone out of fear of rejection. It is easier to be friends with a guy than to say call me maybe? (Thank you Carly Rae Jepsen for supplying me with endless jokes) I also think that Christian guys make it harder for you to see the fine line between friendship and flirting- thank you infamous side hug. Now I am not bashing Christian guys, because HELLO, that is my top requirement, but dang is it hard to read them. They are sweet, nice, Jesus-loving, side-hug-giving, Bible toting, modern day Prince Charmings. Disney has nothing on these boys. But with such a welcoming personality, we find ourselves wondering- does he like me or does he just love Jesus? Oh the age old question. 

Now in a perfect world I would end this post having all the right answers, but the thing is I don’t know. I don’t know how you get out of the friend zone, because the problem is I am in the friend zone. So if you are in the zone with me, let’s do lunch or possibly go see Magic Mike…kidding. But if you are a fun-fearless female, please tell us HOW DO WE ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE? Comments are welcome and encouraged, preferably with kind and gentle words.

Signing off from the friend zone,

Traci Lynn