Have you ever been stuck in a place in your life that you know is just not right? You know with out a shadow of a doubt that you weren't created to be at that job, or in that financial situation, or in that marriage. You pray and pray every night and ask God to free you from that place but it just doesn't happen. God is keeping you there, he won't move you and he won't listen to you. It drives me crazy when he does that, when he doesn't listen to ME...because after all I am the creator of the universe and I am all knowing, right? Wrong. I can't even be a 100% sure of what is going to happen to tomorrow, much less how the rest of my life will play out, so why am I so adamant to prove to God that where I am is not where I belong. How do I know where I belong?? How do I know what I am supposed to be doing when I can't even foresee what needs to be done?
I am stuck in a job that I don't feel successful in, and when I say successful I am referring to the worlds definition of the word. Successful: Job status, Black American Express cards, Mercedes Benz, rollin' in dough. I have tried to seek comfort in another job but it just isn't happening. God will not let me out of my current work place. It is like he has his giant hand on my forehead pushing me back while I try to run forward, and his loud voice is saying NO! Maybe I am running with my iPod on and can't hear him? Why can't I see that where I am is successful in a completely different way? Am I a fan of running with a blindfold on too and I just didn't know it?
Could it be that God thinks that the salvation of other people is far more important than the limit on a Black AMEX card? I have a feeling he favors the first one a lot more. So here I am in a job that wears me out, I am talking pains in my legs and taking 3 hour naps in the middle of the day...and all for what? Serving people coffee, waking up at 4AM to make sure that important guy in the business suit starts his day off right. Well that's not all, I have built relationships with people that are the complete opposite of myself, ones that don't believe in God and ones that don't care to follow Him. And how is that successful, they don't even like God, well at least they can see that they might not like my God but I still like them. I won't treat you any different because you don't love him, I will only love you more because you don't love him. Wanna know the biggest success of them all? The big one that beats out any feeling a Mercedes Benz can give you: Seeing a person that you work with, one who didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus when you first met them, sitting next to you at church singing along to worship songs. That my friends is AMAZING!!!
So at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that I might not have a desk, I might not have a name tag or a company credit card but I have the joy of seeing people curiously seek after God and that is far better than any job promotion or paycheck. God won't let me out of my job, he won't take down his hand and let me take off running but he also won't ever make me do this alone. One of his hands may be tightly fastened to me keeping me where I am, but I can bet that his other hand is tightly fastened to those around me at work that don't love Him.
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