"For I know the
plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11
Congratulations seniors of
2012, you will now get to see this verse printed on every graduation gift
imaginable. For me, I received this on a picture frame ten years ago, for you
it might be printed on a t-shirt of a cute cuddly teddy bear, or how about a
paperweight? Seriously, what freshman in college uses a paperweight? If you do
and I just offended you, feel free to throw it at me. I strongly believe that
this verse alone keeps LifeWay Christian bookstore afloat. Now before I
sound like a blasphemous, self-proclaimed lover of Jesus, let's make it clear
that I have nothing against this verse. I love this verse, and I love the
context of which it is used in the Bible. What I hate is how the 17-year-old
version of myself completely jacked up this verse to justify thinking I
deserved everything I wanted in life.
In 2002, I emerged from my
sheltered bubble I call private school, in other words- I graduated. I had big plans
to attend Texas Tech University (Guns up!) and be involved in sports medicine.
I had a foolproof plan and it only involved staying in school for four years.
How hard could it be? After all, this was apart of God's plan to give me hope
and a future. How can I have a future if I don't graduate college in four
years? The thing is, I thought I knew what God's plan was but really it was
just my plan and I made it sound like it was all his idea because it is what I
told him what would happen when I prayed. (Stinkin' little brat I was!) Well
for reasons beyond my control I was not able to finish school and I had to move
back to Austin. Talk about a let down. I was confused. I thought God wasn't going
to give me anything that would harm me; I had it on a picture frame for crying
out loud! I was hurt, confused and probably annoying to everyone around me. Why
was this happening to ME? Why did I have to tell the embarrassing news to all
my friends? Why did I have to deal with this financial mess? I'm a good
Christian after all.
"...then you will
call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
-Jeremiah 29:12
As time went on I began to
grow bitter and depressed. All my friends were away at school and here I was
throwing myself a pity party on the daily. I was living on my own and
struggling a lot, and I started searching for things to find my worth in.
Jeremiah 29:11 became a verse in which I used to argue against God- "You
said you wouldn't harm me…you said you would give me plans to prosper me...this
is not prospering!!" As time went on my church attendance was seriously
lacking. I didn't want to be apart of the church college group because I wasn't
technically in college and I got tired of being asked why I wasn't in school. I
began searching for my self-worth in boys. (Dun, dun, dun) I just wanted
someone to tell me I was good enough and to make me feel special. I began looking
for approval from everyone, which was another one of my foolproof plans
(sarcasm, of course). After years unfulfilling approval of man, I hit the
bottom of what I like to call my pit.
"You will seek me
and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13
From 2003-2007 I was a hot
mess, a crazy lady if you will. For four years I was constantly searching for
something or someone to make me feel validated and/or important. Serious fail.
My constant searching turned into constant sadness. I was never happy, and it
was because I wasn't looking in the one place I needed to be looking- God's
word. I can't remember how I heard of it but I began reading a book by Beth
Moore called Get Out Of That Pit. It is an amazing book and I recommend it for
anyone struggling with approval idols and becoming a slave to your sin. This
book, a long with the Bible began to transform my thoughts, which in turn began
to transform my actions. I couldn't get enough of this new Jesus I found. I
began seeing all the crappy situations I put myself in as huge blessings.
Without Jesus, how can one look back on a relationship in which they were
cheated on and be thankful for it because it brought me back to Christ?
I started seeking God and I found a new version of him. I parted ways with the
god of religion, rules and punishments and I was welcomed into a relationship
with the God of the gospel, grace and freedom.
"I will be found by
you," declares the Lord "and will bring you back from
captivity..." -Jeremiah 29:14
If you would have told me
ten years ago that nothing would have gone the way I was planning I would have
hated you. Sorry, Christians can't hate...let's say I would have strongly
disliked you and then shook my fist at you. I wouldn't have believed you, after
all when you are a senior in high school you are on top of the world and the plans
you have are indestructible (more sarcasm, imagine that). It took ten years for
me to learn that God's plans for my life are the best ones imaginable.
If God never took me out of my comfort zone I would have never discovered that
I want to be a writer, I would have nothing to write about and I would not be
doing what I believe my true calling from God is. God brought me back from the
captivity I placed myself in. It was a long hard battle, but I am finally at
peace with all the different life changes that I went through. I can finally
say- Jesus, I trust you.
So graduating class of 2012,
with your big day quickly approaching the only thing I can tell you is this-
don't make Jeremiah 29:11 about you; make it about Jesus. Make it about the
gospel and make it so that you are surrendering to the different life changes
that may come your way. Pray that in your life Christ would be glorified,
because when Christ is glorified is when you start living a life that is
prosperous and full of hope.
Congratulations Class of 2012, YOU DID IT!! (Bet
you didn't see that Legally Blonde reference coming, did you?)
