New look and a book giveaway!!

There comes a time in a girls life when she longs for a makeover, well Trace of Faith was itching for a new look so I gave her one! Yes, I just referred to my blog as a girl, I'm sure that's not the weirdest thing you'll read all day. I teamed up with a fabulous graphic designer (Victoria over at PISTOL daisie) and she made my bloggin' dreams a reality!!

To celebrate the new look I am doing a book giveaway!! I want to make this a pretty normal thing on the blog and give away books that will really encourage you in your walk of faith.

This month's give-a-way?

Love Does by Bob Goff!!

Photo: bobgoff.com

This is an amazing book and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! I let my family borrow it after me and they couldn't put it down either. So maybe you've heard of it and have been wanting to check it out, well here is your chance to get your hands on a copy!!

So how do you get this wonderful book in your possession?

It's easy!

Just leave me a comment on this post letting me know you dropped by and checked out the new look and my trusty assistant (my dog) will pick a lucky winner. Also feel free to grab one of my buttons to put on your blog, follow me on Google Friend Connect and/or tell your amigos to check out the new site, while it's not a requirement to win the book it would be awfully nice of you!

Well get to commenting, you've got a book to win!!

A Link-Up With Influential Ladies

I am excited to take part in the Influence Network link-up today!! I have only been in this network for about 2 months but I have learned so much, either through their online classes or through the amazing ladies I follow on Twitter. I have never been a part of a network where so many women are encouraging each other in the most Christ like way. It was definitely God's hand that led me to find this network and embrace the writer I want to be.

Now on to the fun stuff....


A photo of myself that I love:

I picked this photo for many reasons. I love the city of Austin; I love keeping things weird and meeting such unique people. I am also in love with my turquoise cruiser and I enjoy riding it around downtown Austin. I'm sorry that you can't really see my face but I couldn't pass up the beautiful skyline behind me! :)

3 Things About Me (that you might not know from reading my blog):

1. I am a fan of all things sports. Sports junkie. Foam finger enthusiast. Any way you want to put it, I love sports. Many people who know me now don't know that I used to be a Jr. High and High school coach for 5 years. Aside from that, I played volleyball and basketball for most of my life. I now enjoy yelling at the refs at any football game (in the nicest Christian way possible, of course!) I mix my passion for sports and writing by writing for a college football website. It's kinda fun being the only girl on that site but that's what I need the Influence Network for- some girl interaction!!

2. I am a dog mommy. While I don't blog about him much (does that make me a horrible owner?) I am the proud dog mom of a 9 year old pit bull mix. He is the sweetest dog but protects me when necessary...and that's awesome! I named him Melo, nickname of the NBA basketball player Carmelo Anthony. I told you I'm a sports junkie.

3. I love to keep it local. Living in Austin has its benefits and one of them includes supporting small businesses. I love to explore local coffee shops, food trailers and boutiques. I don't go anywhere without my Go Local card that gives me discounts at most local businesses. It's my favorite accessory. I also enjoy checking out all of the local festivals, such as the kite festival, ice cream festival, trailer food festival. You can probably find me roaming around any festival Austin is having. :)

One thing I've learned on the Network:

I've learned how to encourage other women to pursue the talents that God has blessed them with. I find that in my conversations with other ladies encouragement is flowing out of me like never before. God has made a "cheerleader" for the creatives the past couple of months, something that I never was before. I was so focused on my own work and how far I could get. Selfish, I know, but God has changed my heart and taught me that while I am building my own brand I can also be lifting up those around me. It's not all about me.

I can't wait to meet more of the ladies in the network and form closer friendships with the ones I've already met. So don't hesitate to drop me a line and let me know how I can stay in touch with you!

Single For A Reason



Photo Cred: twitter.com/TheSingleWoman

Hello single ladies,

Our time today is going to get a little more real. I really want to talk about what it means to be content in your singleness. It is so frustrating that at this age we let our singleness define our accomplishments and our happiness. I think it stems from the fact so many of us are discontent with our relationship status. In all the years (months or days) of your singleness, have you ever stopped to wonder the reason why you are single? And I mean the real reason, not the "pity party" answer like "I'm not good enough". What is it in your life that Jesus wants you to focus on more than dating? If Jesus is the reason for the Season; why is it any different that He is the reason for this season in your life?

I'll share with you how I discovered the reason for my singleness in hopes that it gets you to find the reason for this season in your life.

I have been an aspiring writer for the past couple of months, and I have really prayed that God would lead me through this time to create something glorifying to Him. And while God has shown me that He is at work in my life, it still takes time and discipline to use my free time as writing time. Even though I know God is faithful to deliver, I still have to be obedient to produce. My writing will not form itself. Trust me, I tried that route and nothing came of it. Several months ago I "casually" dated someone for a couple of months and my writing took a back seat. I neglected spending time perfecting my craft. God began giving me so many opportunities to write for different sites but I still neglected it. Among other reasons, that is one of the main reasons why I ended things with Boy, because I was neglecting the area in my life that God blessed me in. That's when I discovered the reason for my singleness. It's not because I'm not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough (or any of the other lies the devil will tell you), it's because God was blessing me; it just wasn't in the area I was expecting.

What is your reason for your singleness? What are the areas in your life that God is wanting you to grow in but you're missing it because you're so focused on dating? Maybe God wants you to grow in your faith, or maybe he wants to use you for something bigger that will be time consuming. God is not keeping a relationship from you to punish you; He might be keeping you from a relationship to bless you abundantly.

Don't get me wrong, the single life is hard and a lot of this is easier said than done but it's not impossible. Living a life of contentment will get you through those moments of doubt and frustration....or when you have to dance to All the Single Ladies for the 50th time at a wedding. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't get so wrapped up in the reasons why you're not married because you may miss out on all the other opportunities God may be trying to give you. Trust in our God that is faithful and know that He is the reason for this season.

The Christian Girl's Guide To The First Date

In honor of Valentine’s Day I am going to do a three-week series about dating for the single ladies. I think there is so much power behind being single; it just takes a little time to find it. Once you wipe away the tear-smeared mascara, your vision of singleness gets a little clearer when you start looking at it through the lenses of Christ’s love.

I thought it would be great to start off this series with “first date etiquette” because I feel like being in the season of love, some of us ladies get a little adventurous and try out online dating, speed dating or take up a friend's offer to go on a blind date. I speak from experience. This year has been an (unintentional) fresh start with a lot of things for me- jobs, living arrangements and dating. I went out with someone the other night that I barely knew because I wanted to try something different. (And now I am becoming that girl who blogs about it.) So with three weeks until the big (V) day, here are some tips of the trade that I experienced just the other night in hopes that they may put you more at ease for your first date.

1. Christian ladies date Christian men

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

2 Corinthians 6:14

 

So you’re a follower of Christ and you want a relationship that will work don’t you? Then only date Christian men. There is a reason that Christ calls us to not be “unequally yoked”. It’s because a man who isn’t looking to lead like Christ won’t show you love like Christ either. He won’t fully understand and respect your boundaries- whether they are spiritual, physical or emotional. Non-believers can be nice too, but just because he’s a nice guy doesn’t mean that he is right for you. This is a screen capture of the text I actually sent to the guy I went out with. Some may call it crazy but let’s be honest, if it’s that important to me then I don’t want to shy away from it.

2. Pick your poison

This may be an odd way of putting it but only agree to dates that are equal to the feelings you are willing to give out. I’ll explain- the other night I agreed to a “coffee date” because that’s what I felt most comfortable with. I’m not the kind of girl that wants to be wined and dined on the first date. Why? Because I am guarded. Past experiences have made me more careful about the types of guys I get involved with, so I like to take my time and become friends with someone. What’s the rush? Coffee dates are a great way to get to know someone without all the pressure. Let’s be honest, if someone spent tons of money on me and took me to fancy places, I would feel a little pressure (from myself) to open up with a lot more than I felt comfortable with, kinda like I owed him something. Do what feels right for you, but if you aren’t the serial dating type and want to take your time don’t be afraid to speak up and recommend something that’s light and fun!

      3. Dress for success

“Rather clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Romans 13:14

Much like a job interview, you want to give a good impression with your appearance. This may sound superficial but I don’t mean it from that angle. I just mean that you want to dress in the way that you want to be treated. Ladies, if your boobs are hanging out you’re sending out the wrong message. So cover up the girls and let the real lady in you come out, whether it is through your sparkling personality or your ability to make people feel comfortable talking to you. When you clothe yourself in Christ, you always have something cute to wear! ;)

4. Watch yo mouth

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

When you’re on a first date there are certain topics that everyone kind of knows are off limits. For example, you aren’t going to reveal your Pinterest wedding board just yet (I have one) or that sometimes you are in your pajamas and ready for bed by 5p (I do that). Most girls know how to pull back the reigns on first-date conversation but I am also referring to conversation that is appropriate and suitable for a first date. While it may be easy to get carried away “harmlessly” flirting with your date because you want to feel special, remember that your flirty talk can give off more than you intended. This is why I suggest being comfortable in your singleness before diving into the dating scene. When we aren’t comfortable (aka- lonely) we have a tendency to feed off attention from guys and flirt with them because it makes us feel good. In the end this does nothing for your self-esteem or the potential relationship. Flirting with no consequences doesn’t exist; when it’s all said and done someone always gets the wrong idea.

On the other side of things, only answer questions that you feel comfortable answering. No one has you under a light forcing you to answer questions, and if he does then that’s a serious red flag and I suggest refining your searches on Match.com. The other night “my date" asked me a series of questions that I felt comfortable answering. Then we got into the heavy stuff, like what are you looking for in a man. My answer? A Biblical leader, someone who wants to serve his church and others, a person who has a witty sense of humor and likes sports more than I do (that way I still feel like the lady in the relationship. Kidding. Kind of). So once I explained what it means for a man to be a Biblical leader (red flag #1) he proceeded to ask me, and I quote: “So how exactly do you get intimate with a guy that’s a Christian down the line when y’all are dating?” Ummm, did homeboy just ask me about sex???? On the first date??? (red flag #2) So naturally I Jesus juked his question with this response: “It’s interesting that you say that, we just had a sermon on the Gospel & Sex and my pastor said ‘Ladies, don’t marry a man who cares more about his physical needs than your soul.’ So it is my hope that the guy I am in a relationship with will be on the same page as me and he won't have to ask that question.” ZING! Maybe I could have been a little more sensitive with my answer but I also felt like there was no need to bring up that question with someone you aren’t in a relationship with. So what I learned from that conversation is to always watch yo mouth.

5. Bye, Bye, Bye

The date has ended and there it is, the moment that has the potential to either be awkward or ridiculously awesome. Go with your gut. Don’t feel pressured to pucker up to someone just because you feel you have to. After all Jesus does tell us to turn the other cheek, you can use this advice in your dating life too if you find your date going in for a little face-to-face action. When my date ended I tried to go in for the sidehug, but when your date is 6’5” there is no such thing as a side hug. He was all up on me from every direction. I now know how ants feel.

Well our time here is done for today. I hope that my awakward dating experiences can help you embrace yours a little better. I sometimes think that we take ourselves way too seriously when dating and we aren’t able to show the other person the real us. So my hope is that by discovering your identity in Christ you will be able to embrace the real you in your dating life!

Go get ‘em girls!

One thing I'll never tell a guy

A couple months ago I picked on the Christian guys with their side hugs and friend zones, but today I feel the need to pick on the Christian ladies, because apparently I'm nice? I came across this meme (what does meme mean anyway?) on Jon Acuff's Instagram and I couldn't stop laughing. I thought it was great that someone with a bigger following than me was calling out the ladies for this. I don't know how you feel about this or if you have used this line before but I absolutely hate it. I'm calling BS. (Is that appropriate? Probably not. Sorry Grandma) I just feel like this is such an easy way out for girls to get out of relationship without being truthful. I recently had to end things with someone who was not walking down the same path as me but instead you just have to bite the bullet and say what you really think is wrong in the relationship. It's also such a cliche that allows people to throw God under the bus to avoid an uncomfortable situation.


Guys have you ever been told this?

Ladies have you used this line before? If so, we should probably leave this as a rhetorical question for the sake of avoiding an awkward friendship.

He's Just Not That Into You

Why am I watching this movie? I hate this movie. I hate everything that it stands for but yet I get sucked into watching it every time because I can relate to it. I can relate to the over analyzing, the excuse making and worst of all, the insecurity. I can relate to these things because that's what being single in your late twenties does to you. Let me explain.

As women we long for companionship, romance and motherhood. These things are all blessings that get jacked up because we feel pressured to accomplish these things by a certain age. According to society, if you haven't achieved these things straight out of college something is wrong with you. You continue to get asked when are you getting married, and what about having kids? We are constantly being bombarded by our own thoughts and insecurities and we forget about God's timing. Or at least I do.

I forget about this perfect plan God has for my life because I am too busy trying to figure out why I don't have what so-and-so has. My Pinterest wedding board isn't getting any smaller. For every 5 pins on my wedding board I feel like I should buy a cat; which would qualify me for a spot on the TV show Hoarders.

So what do we do when we find out that he's just not that into you? Get over it. Easier said than done of course but what if the guy who's just not that into you isn't the right guy at all? Would you rather temporarily cure your singleness or eternally trust in God's provision for your life? I discovered recently that a temporary fix isn't as satisfying as an eternal Love. Duh.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret that probably only a handful of my friends knew about. I recently dated someone. Gasp. And there is a reason it was a secret, because from day 2 (not day 1, I was still delusional) I knew it wasn't right but my singleness became a bigger focal point than my obedience.

In August and September I casually dated a guy I met whom I referred to as "my hot neighbor" (true story). The thing is, he was indeed hot but that was about it. In two short months I quickly learned a lot about the type of man I'd like to spend the rest of my life with and he just wasn't it. Sounds crazy but it's almost as if God used this fling to reaffirm my patience. I learned that this hot neighbor didn't want kids (yeah I asked, apparently I don't like to waste any time) and that showed me just how important a family would be to me. I also unintentionally became the Biblical leader which I quickly learned why that is only a role for the man in a relationship. I also learned that I never want to marry a man I have to drag to church. All of these things sound like no brainers for a Christian woman, but you'd be surprised just how blurry our vision can get when we start looking at potential relationships from behind a wedding veil.

What I learned is that I am 28 and there is nothing wrong with me. I am not married; I don't have children and I am okay with that. I am okay because I know the plans God has for me are much more promising than a hot neighbor and a few dinner dates. I don't have unrealistic expectations like he must always put the toilet seat down but I have expectations of a Biblical leader who serves his church and others well and that is worth the wait.

Your singleness will not kill you. Like the saying goes- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and that is true. My singleness is not killing me, but instead I am using it to discover what it takes to make a strong marriage work because I'd rather learn now than two months into a marriage when we are arguing over nonsense.

So what do you do when you find out he's just not that into you? You trust in a God who is so into you and wants to bless you in ways you cannot imagine. That is so much better than a flirty text anyway.

"I don't say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." -Philippians 4:11

"No one is more pleasurable to be around than a person who has had her cup filled by the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only one who is never overwhelmed by the depth and length of our need." -Beth Moore

"I am certain that I will see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the Lord." -Psalm 27:13-14

"If God always delivered us instantly, we would see His greatness once, but we would soon forget. On the other hand, if He teaches us victory in Christ day by day, we live in the constant awareness of His greatness and sufficiency." -Beth Moore

A new life chapter (pun intended)

So I started writing my book today. And a part of me wishes the process was as casual as the way I make it sound, but the other part of me loves the challenge of applying myself to make this actually happen! Some of you might be thinking "Why now?" and I am here to say- WHY NOT? (actually, only a mere 6 hours ago I was thinking the same thing but that doesn't sound as dramatic.) This past week 3 different people have asked me about my writing process. One asked me what I was waiting for in regards to starting the book writing process. My brother asked me when I was going to quit my job and be a writer (even though it's not that easy, but you get the point). And one person asked me where I saw myself in 10 years and we talked about my "hopefully I have written a book by then" response. This week I learned that there will never be a perfect time for me to start and if I keep putting it off it's just another day I am losing out to fear.

God has a way of speaking to me over and over in the clearest of ways, and sometimes I have a way of not listening and unfortunately I've gotten too good at it. He uses different people to speak to me and then sometimes he outright hollas at me, but I don't blame him because I am hardheaded and sometimes need that loud booming voice to get my attention. Several months ago God spoke to me in the form of a cookie. No, his face didn't appear to me on a cookie. What I mean is I got a fortune in my cookie at P.F. Changs that about blew my mind. God knows I love me some cookies so I am not completely shocked by his mode of communication, but I am shocked by the words that were chosen. If you know me I don't take part in getting my fortune read and things like that but I have no doubt that this was God's way of getting my attention. Out of the three of us at dinner, I picked up the cookie with the fortune that read: "You are a lover of words, someday you should write a book." Well you see that's kinda crazy because the thing is I do want to write a book. I have been wanting to write a book for the past couple years but things like fear and insecurity get in the way and it's easier just not to do it. So to help motivate me, I have framed that fortune and put it on my desk as a way to remind me of what I geniunely feel God is calling me to do. I also added a side note on my computer that reads "Snookie wrote a book" in case I ever doubt my talents and abilites. No offense to Snookie, we just know she's not the type of person you'd typically see writing a book. But if she did it so can I.


Here is the hard part- the subject of the book. I feel like I have had the unfortunate blessing of going through some really crappy situations that helped me see just how awesome God really is. It is no surprise to me that the ideas for my book have been put off for so long because it's the devils way of holding me back. See the topics I want to address are sins that girls keep as secrets. Secrets that are too taboo to talk about so some girls go on struggling with them because they are too embarrassed to talk about it. I am going to be honest with you, I don't want to write about this one bit because I know that you will learn things about me that I would rather you not know. If the way God uses me keeps another girl from getting in the backseat on the first date or from crying herself to sleep at night because she thinks she's not worthy then in the end it really is all worth it. While coaching middle school and high school girls for 5 years I was able to see just how horribly wrong (and I mean that with love) our perception of ourself can be. Our need for acceptance, approval and love can sometimes lead us to act in a way that we will soon regret.

I don't have a title for my book, heck I don't have a publisher or editor but I have a God who is awesome and faithful and if this is my calling then He will see it through. I titled the document on my computer "For Your Glory" because I know there will be times that I don't want to write about certain things but in the end the purpose of my book is for God's glory, not to make myself look better.

One thing I ask from the readers of my blog is for accountability. I have a very strong feeling that this is exactly what I should be doing but I know that it will be hard and maybe somewhat embarrassing. I ask that you would help keep me accountable by asking how the process is coming along.

If you are someone who might be questioning why I am doing this, then this quote is for you. This quote is actually what started it all for me and confirmed exactly what I should be writing about (along with the cookie):

“Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn't become their future.” -Jon Acuff

Here we go...