As women we long for companionship, romance and motherhood. These things are all blessings that get jacked up because we feel pressured to accomplish these things by a certain age. According to society, if you haven't achieved these things straight out of college something is wrong with you. You continue to get asked when are you getting married, and what about having kids? We are constantly being bombarded by our own thoughts and insecurities and we forget about God's timing. Or at least I do.
I forget about this perfect plan God has for my life because I am too busy trying to figure out why I don't have what so-and-so has. My Pinterest wedding board isn't getting any smaller. For every 5 pins on my wedding board I feel like I should buy a cat; which would qualify me for a spot on the TV show Hoarders.
So what do we do when we find out that he's just not that into you? Get over it. Easier said than done of course but what if the guy who's just not that into you isn't the right guy at all? Would you rather temporarily cure your singleness or eternally trust in God's provision for your life? I discovered recently that a temporary fix isn't as satisfying as an eternal Love. Duh.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret that probably only a handful of my friends knew about. I recently dated someone. Gasp. And there is a reason it was a secret, because from day 2 (not day 1, I was still delusional) I knew it wasn't right but my singleness became a bigger focal point than my obedience.
In August and September I casually dated a guy I met whom I referred to as "my hot neighbor" (true story). The thing is, he was indeed hot but that was about it. In two short months I quickly learned a lot about the type of man I'd like to spend the rest of my life with and he just wasn't it. Sounds crazy but it's almost as if God used this fling to reaffirm my patience. I learned that this hot neighbor didn't want kids (yeah I asked, apparently I don't like to waste any time) and that showed me just how important a family would be to me. I also unintentionally became the Biblical leader which I quickly learned why that is only a role for the man in a relationship. I also learned that I never want to marry a man I have to drag to church. All of these things sound like no brainers for a Christian woman, but you'd be surprised just how blurry our vision can get when we start looking at potential relationships from behind a wedding veil.
What I learned is that I am 28 and there is nothing wrong with me. I am not married; I don't have children and I am okay with that. I am okay because I know the plans God has for me are much more promising than a hot neighbor and a few dinner dates. I don't have unrealistic expectations like he must always put the toilet seat down but I have expectations of a Biblical leader who serves his church and others well and that is worth the wait.
Your singleness will not kill you. Like the saying goes- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and that is true. My singleness is not killing me, but instead I am using it to discover what it takes to make a strong marriage work because I'd rather learn now than two months into a marriage when we are arguing over nonsense.
So what do you do when you find out he's just not that into you? You trust in a God who is so into you and wants to bless you in ways you cannot imagine. That is so much better than a flirty text anyway.
"I don't say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." -Philippians 4:11
"No one is more pleasurable to be around than a person who has had her cup filled by the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only one who is never overwhelmed by the depth and length of our need." -Beth Moore
"I am certain that I will see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the Lord." -Psalm 27:13-14
"If God always delivered us instantly, we would see His greatness once, but we would soon forget. On the other hand, if He teaches us victory in Christ day by day, we live in the constant awareness of His greatness and sufficiency." -Beth Moore
