11 Things That Made 2011 Unique

This is my token end of the year post. 11 things that made this year unique or memorable, and some were not necessarily good things. So here is my 2011 recap, because I know you care that much. You do. Trust me.

In chronological order:

1. In February 2011 it snowed and for once it wasn't just flurries!! That, my non-Texas friends, is something to write home about. Or in my case, something to write a blog about.

2. On March 3rd I got in a wreck. That however is not worthy of making the list, because to be honest I think I have gotten in a wreck once a year for the past three years. The reason this event is #2 is because I got to drive a rental car that officially made me a Texan, because growing up for 27 years in Texas apparently is not enough. This, my friends, was the most awesome week of my life. (Not really for but dramatic reasons please play along, this is a New Year's post after all.)

3. If you have been my friend, or known of me, or even stalked me on Facebook at one time in your life it has been obvious that I am a HUGE fan of Dierks Bentley. One might say I am even in love with him, however you chose to word it, I'll take it. I had the opportunity to meet him on March 13th. Yes, I remember the exact date, and what I wore, and what he smelled like. (He smelled amazing by the way) He was super nice, and I almost threw up. We talked about sports, naturally, and I stepped on his foot and then we hit our heads together before taking this picture. All in all it was a good night.

4. This event is something I wish I didn't have to include on this list, but it is definitely something that changed the year, and for the whole family, the rest of our lives. My Grandpa passed away on April 3rd, 2011 after battling pancreatic cancer. We still miss him a lot and are thankful for the many things we learned from him.

5. This past Easter my church, The Austin Stone, held their Easter service at the Frank Erwin Center, a venue that houses many concerts and the Texas Longhorn basketball games. I think 13,000 people showed up to the service. Worshiping with that many people was absolutely ridiculous!

6. I went to a dinosaur park!! Yes, at the time I was 26 and I drove about 45 minutes to visit a dinosaur park. Trust me, it was awesome. I love dinosaurs so much that when I was little I used to carry around the "D" volume of the encyclopedia. You may never understand my love for dinosaurs, but it's okay, I won't judge you.

7. This event was a huge life change. If you know me, I am not a fan of change. I've had the same job for many years, and lived with my sister for 7 years but this past year we decided to part ways, mainly because we didn't want to turn into the Golden Girls. I moved out on my own. I am now a single girl in the city and I'm loving every moment of it. Here is a picture of my "easy bake" oven. I named it that because it is ridiculously small.

8. I've been a fan of the Dallas Mavericks for the past 5 years. The first NBA game I had ever been to was one of the Mavericks and I've followed them ever since. In June this past year they became NBA Champions. I took a picture of the screen on my iPhone the moment they won.

9. This past summer I got stung by my first bee, and what do you know I'M ALLERGIC to them. That sucker swelled up like nobody's business. Look here is a picture to show my discomfort.

10. My birthday this year was spent eating dinner at my favorite restaurant, Galaxy Cafe, and then bowling with my girl friends. This deserves to be on the list because we were celebrating my birth, and let's be honest, without my birth this list would not exist.

11. And last but not least, I finally got to visit the Gypsy Picnic here in Austin. This event is held every year (well this was only the 2nd year but let's keep with the dramatic effect) and it's held downtown. There are about 20 different trailers from food places around Austin outlining the park and you can walk to different vendors and buy samples of their food. If you are a fan of food it was amazing, and I love me some food!!

Thanks for recapping the year 2011 with me. I plan on having fun in 2012, so here's to another year of life changes and awkward experiences. (I'm looking at you, Mayan calendar!!)

Testing. Testing.

This is a test from my iPhone. I just recently got the Blogger app. I'm hoping this will help me blog more, even if it's just tib-bits of information here and there.

Okay, be back soon. I hope.

Wannabe.

I have been working on this post for some time now, almost four years to be exact. The post has formed many mental notes, many prayer requests and many fears. It is a declaration of something that has been a manifesting itself in my heart for awhile now. So here it is:

I want to be a writer.

I bet you're thinking, "now that wasn't so bad now was it?" Well, yes actually it was. You might also be thinking, "what is stopping you from doing it?" Well, you are. You are stopping me. No offense, if you are reading this the chances of me liking you are highly likely, which also means I care about your opinion of me. What if I fail? What if I'm not as witty as I think I am (insert narcissism here) and well, what if I don't glorify God like I want to?

So since you guys are the ones stopping me from doing this (I hope you sense the sarcasm by now, and if not, have we met yet?) here is how you can help me: Keep me accountable. Next time you see me ask me how my writing is coming along, because chances are I haven't published it and it is just sitting in a file keeping my MacBook company. I am asking you to help me, keep me accountable and help me live a life worthy of the calling I have received.

Thank you for even reading this, you have no idea how excited I get to even see one comment notification in my email inbox.

So don't be afraid to holla, yes I said holla...so much for a serious post.

-Traci

Christian Lockout

I can't believe it has been 3 months since I last posted, I have so much I want to write about but I am just missing one thing, time. I really hope to update soon but in the meantime I wanted to share with you a post that I wrote for Baron Batch's blog. For those of you who don't know, Baron is a former Texas Tech football player and current Pittsburgh Steelers player. I am so thankful for the opportunity that Baron gave me and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Guest Blog #4 (7-25-2011) By: Traci Barrera

*Disclaimer: This post was written two days before the lockout ended. *

When I sat down to brainstorm ideas for this blog post I wanted to put myself in Baron Batch’s shoes. As a couple days went by I began to realize that one of the few things we have in common is football; he likes to play it and I like to watch it…and yell at the TV while doing so. I debated about blogging about photography, but I can’t even make a Polaroid look good so that was a no go. Next attempt? Bowling. Well that wouldn’t work either, because last time I played my Grandma beat me. Ok so football it is, seemed like enough common ground for me. I had to dig deep for this one, because as much as I like football I am not a professional, I didn’t even play in high school…and well, I am a girl. I don’t even know what it’s like to get tackled, wait, yes I do I let my brother tackle me one day (bad life choice) but I for sure don’t know what it’s like to train, play and have it consume my life. I also do not know what it’s like to be apart of an NFL lockout. So I began to pray about this: “Lord, what is the story YOU want me to tell? I could go on and on about my interests, but these people don’t know me, and I could go on and on about Baron but what is the word you want spoken and heard in this moment?” And so it hit me, well God hit me with something, but not literally; He’s not like that. Our Christian walk is a lot like the NFL lockout. I know what you’re thinking: “Say what?” I ask that you hang in there, this isn’t one of those sermon analogies that comes at you from left field and leaves you more confused than you were when the sermon first began. This is legit stuff…or so I think. The great Jon Acuff once tweeted: “Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn't become their future.” So here is a chapter of my story, in hopes that it will not become your future.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you have allowed yourself to be locked out of your Christian walk? You know, that time you didn’t quite agree with the “terms” God placed in your life? I have, and for me it lasted about 4 years. I was young, in college and foolish. Isn’t that how every story starts out? It’s true though, I really was. I had just escaped the bubble I lived in for 13 years called “Private School”. Now I’m not hating on private school, I just didn’t know how to live life properly without my trusty polos, khakis and mandatory chapel services. I had grown accustom to “feel good” Christianity. I was taught how to make a better life for myself and if I was a good Christian I would be successful and happy. I locked myself out from a life of submission, discipleship and service; I dated who I wanted, spent money on whatever I wanted and went to church when it felt right. I didn’t drink, smoke or steal, so in my book I was golden. I found myself ignoring the tough commandments and even the great commission: “Go therefore and makes disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 28:19) I was even ignoring the great “terms and agreements” Jesus gave us as followers: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24) I felt like I deserved better than to be exhausted from serving others, tight on money as result of tithing, and I didn’t think God would ever call me to be uncomfortable or in danger by sharing the Gospel with others. My prayer life became a time to strike up rules, bargains and compromises with God. My views on this “Christian thing” were selfish, ignorant and worst of all, comfortable.

It wasn’t until I was stripped of a lot of things I thought I deserved did I begin to see God’s redemptive work in my life. I was starting to live a life of struggle and hardship. I began to see a lot of things in my life slip away but the one thing that was so clear was God’s grace and forgiveness. I started visiting a new church and God reeled me back in with convicting sermons, worship that brought me to tears and community of believers that encouraged me to grow in my Christian walk. Suddenly the rules of which how I wanted to live my life didn’t matter. If there is one thing my own “lockout” taught me it was that while I was waiting for a better offer to come along I was missing out on a love I’ve never experienced, forgiveness like I’ve never known and an abundant source of grace and mercy.

I am not sure when this 2011 NFL lockout will end, how it will end or what terms and agreements will be made but I know how my story will end. It ends in hope because our God is faithful: “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16: 33) His mercies are new every morning and once you allow yourself to break free from your own “Christian lockout” and stop living life on your own terms, God will reveal to you the same promises He did for Abraham, Moses, and David. God allows us to be an active part of the Gospel, not because He needs us but because He loves us; we should view it as an honor instead of striking up our own set of agreements, rules and promises. We (myself included) all think we deserve a better job, more pay, and a comfortable lifestyle; it’s the American way. We think that we are too talented to abandon everything and live a life worthy of the calling that we have received (Ephesians 4:1). With that being said, don’t be like I was, sitting on the sidelines while all the other Christians did the hard work. God can strike up no better deal than the gift of salvation and redemption.

And You Will Be Healed...

Every time I hear the word confession, I can’t help but think of the song by Usher. You know the one; “These are my confessions, just when I said all I could say…” Well, we will stop there because now you probably just think I'm weird…but you get my point.

If there is one thing in my Christian walk that has literally put the fear of God in me, it has been the idea of confession. The act of bringing my sin into the light and confessing to those who walk with me in Christ the horrible things I struggle with. The thought of doing that has made me anxious and uncomfortable. Let others know what a crappy person I am actually capable of being? No thank you, I prefer to continue to wear this mask that I have so carefully hand crafted. I haven’t out grown it yet, 17 years going strong and that mask has never done me wrong. (Unintentional rhyming. My skills are just that mad.) I would rather not take it off, but thanks anyway God, maybe we can find another way to work on me. How about serving? Yeah, serving, I will just fill my schedule with selflessly serving others. Who needs to confess when I can just serve the heck out of the city of Austin? Sadly, this has been my mindset; fill my Christian life with other acts of obedience, hoping that God would let this one slide.

To give you an example of just how long I have been intentionally putting this off, I have linked a blog post I wrote back in August of 2009, almost two years ago, about the heaviness I felt after hearing a sermon on confession. That’s how long I have let this feeling of uneasiness and anxiousness marinate itself into the very being of my heart. For two years I have felt burdened, paranoid, and not good enough. Every time I was faced with the opportunity to serve, become a leader in some way or give biblical related advice I heard the same words echoing in my mind: “You aren’t good enough.” And sadly, I had believed them every time. To live a perfect life, to walk a perfect Christian walk is impossible, we all know this but to strive to be like Christ is not impossible but it was that voice that kept me from doing so. For two years I allowed myself to be crippled by the fear of judgment and acceptance.

Well two years later and one unexpected night at my Missional Community, it all came spewing out. It was the Thursday after our amazing Easter service. The spirit was moving in our conversations and it was time for prayer requests. As we went around the room, I could hear God telling me to confess. Confess the things that had been eating away at me, even though I hadn’t done them in awhile; confess my past and present struggles so that I may protect my future. I fought Him over it. With each passing person I felt it coming up, kind of like when you have to burp and you can just feel it coming, it was very similar to that. I didn’t want to do it, I made a mental list of all the requests I could make, and if I just stuck to the list it wouldn’t come out. Fool proof. Yeah right, God is the maker of my lips and vocal cords so those suckers didn’t stand a chance. Well it was my turn, and I couldn’t hide it, want to know why? Because I started crying and I couldn’t just sit there and say nothing, so I let it all out. I expressed my faults, fears and guilt. Needless to say it was received very well and it sparked an even more amazing conversation of encouragement and accountability. I always knew that God had provided me with an awesome Missional Community and this experience just reinforces that feeling.

I am sure at this point you really want to know what my confessions were, and I regret to inform you that I will not be revealing them…yet. The purpose of this blog post was not to leave you hanging or prove my holiness. I just wanted to help share with you the freedom you find in confessing. After two years of doubt, I have experienced what God is talking about: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” I have always wanted to bring my sins to the light and experience accountability and a free conscious but I couldn’t stop judging myself so I had to get over that first. I once heard somewhere if you don’t bring your sins to the light, God eventually will. That he did, and just like the gracious God that he is he provided me with an amazing support group. Take it from me, the thought of confession may cause you to become anxious and nervous. For years I knew those feelings all too well, but the feeling of freedom outweighs anything else. Freedom in Christ’s forgiveness and grace trumps any other form or regret and uneasiness. I took my time and prayed to God whom he wanted me to confess to, and honestly I also prayed that the time to do so would never come but it did and he proved to be faithful. We serve a very faithful God, so don't be like me, trust him when he's says that you will be healed.

"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." -Proverbs 28:13

My Missional Community Ladies

I have been apart of the Austin Stone for four years now, and that church has encouraged me to live in community by being apart of a Missional Community. For those of you who don't know what a Missional Community is, it's kinda like a "Small group", but we are encouraged to live missionally and intentionally while we serve the city of Austin. I joined my MC group three years ago, we meet once a week (Thursdays) and keep it real with Jesus. I love these girls, and week by week we are blown away as we see that God has hand picked each one of us to be in this group. We all seem to struggle with the same things at the same time, it is ridiculous...God sure knows his stuff!! I love these girls and I can't imagine living a missional life without them.

So what's with the introduction? Well before I posted my Confession blog post (yes, it is still a work in progess), I wanted to introduce you to the girls who have encouraged me, prayed for me, hugged me when I cried and so graciously laughed at my cheesy jokes. These girls are the bomb...yes, I said bomb. So here they are, some aren't with us anymore and we sure do miss them! ;)

Reppin' the major colleges in Texas. (Wreck 'Em!)

Dinner at Galaxy Cafe.

Celebrating my birthday at Dave and Busters.

Celebrating our MC leader's birthday at OPA!

Serving at Gandalf's Prayer Cafe.

Social night at The Cookie Lounge.

Fun day on Lake Travis!

Celebrating my birthday at Hula Hut.

Celebrating my birthday at The Highball.

Missional Community Open House at Halcyon.

Learning how to cook Thai food.

UT vs. Texas Tech game watching party.

Karaoke at The Highball in the "Country" themed room!

Social event: First Thursday on South Congress.

UT Football National Championship game watching party.

Dinner at Joe Dimaggio's.

Celebrating Allison's birthday at J Blacks!

Serving at The Austin State Hospital.

Beauty For Ashes, Indeed

When I haven’t blogged in awhile, I usually reintroduce myself with a “what I’ve been up to” post. Sometimes, it goes a little something like this: “Oh I haven’t been up to anything. I am the most boring person in the world. Nothing ever happens to me. Why do you people even check this blog?” Seriously, I think I have written that post several times. Well to those who have had faith in me, those who refuse to accept that I will never be a boring person, this is for you. After a several months of an unintentional hiatus, I actually have updates worth blogging about. Save the cheers and applause because this isn’t a happy go lucky post, but it isn’t a “oh poor me” post either. This is a post about the hard stuff and everything in between.

A little over a month ago my family lost my Grandpa to pancreatic cancer. He had been battling with it for almost two years. I can’t even begin to tell you how strong he was throughout the process. His strength on his deathbed came from singing hymns and having Bible studies with his family. That is just a small glimpse of how big his faith was. Losing my Grandpa is one of the hardest things I have gone through. He wasn’t just a “Grandpa” to his Grandkids, he was my brother’s best friend, my cousin’s number one fan and he was my biggest influence. It was hard to look at his life and not be encouraged or inspired. My Grandpa would be the first to say he wasn’t perfect, the first to take the attention off himself, but he would also be the first to step up and be a servant leader and actually live out the words of Ephesians 4:1 “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” I think their Pastor said it best at his memorial service when he said: “He went to a better place, but because of Howell Cobb, the place he left is better.” And it’s true, that small town in Georgia gathered together to celebrate and reflect on the life of an amazing man. The church was filled wall to wall, there were tears and laughter, Grandchildren gave speeches and in the end we saw that God was indeed glorified through the life and death of Howell Cobb.

As you can imagine, mourning the loss of someone that selfless was hard. We all had our days, and we still do, but if there is one thing that I took away from that week in Georgia it was encouragement. Encouragement to live my life worthy of the calling I have received. Encouragement to know that when I am tired, weak and weary God is still planting seeds because He is not tired, weak or weary. The seeds God planted throughout the life of my Grandpa were represented in that church, through the hundreds of greeting cards my Grandma received, and through the love and generousity that was poured out to us all week through their friends. My Georgia grandparents have always been a couple that I have looked up to, their marriage, though not perfect, is something that I think all their grandchildren will always strive towards having.

This update is small. Won’t take up too much space. But it is quite the big life changing event. I AM MOVING!! Yup, as of this Friday I will be a single girl in the city. Well, I’ve always lived in “the city”, North Austin to be exact but as of this week I will be about four minutes away from Downtown. I am experiencing every sort of emotion you could come to expect from a twenty-something single lady. I am nervous because I have never lived alone, but I am also excited to make this place my own and decorate it the way I want it. I am excited to frequent all the local Austin eateries and hope to put my GoLocal card to good use. Seriously, I think there are five cool little Austin joints within walking distance from my new place. Even though all these things are fun and awesome, most of all I can’t wait to use this apartment as a place of community and fellowship. When looking for an apartment I prayed that God would put me in a location that I would be used for His glory. Needless to say I am very excited to see what He has in store for me this coming year.

After much thought I have decided to make this last update a separate post. I feel like it has been such an important topic in my life the past two years that I don’t want to minimize the details just make it fit into a couple paragraphs. This is something I have struggled with, something I have ignored and something I have dreaded. But in the past couple of weeks I have seen exactly what bringing sin into the light feels like, and I have experienced undeserving Grace and it is just too good not to share. So the next post will focus on confession.

In the mean time, to be continued…