Day 24: Living In Community

Remember that time I said I would post for 31 days about faith? And I even made a fancy Instagram image and everything. And then I failed after Day 4. Well, I don't know what I was thinking. I am not sure if I forgot that I am the type of person who crams as much activity as I can into my weekly planning. Tis the reason why I failed.

I just felt I needed to address that before I proceeded on with my regularly scheduled post. (And by regularly scheduled I mean- whenever I want!!) Because that's how I blog, whenever a good idea strikes me. I just can't seem to be a legit blogger and do it everyday. So please don't judge my failures. Or do. It's okay, I'll never know.

Soooooooo.........

The past 8 weeks have been flipping amazing, y'all! I didn't get a new job, a new home, or a raise. So what could have made the past 2 months so amazing?

I received a renewed relationship with my Jesus.

About 8 weeks ago I was sitting across from my dear friend Kim and we were celebrating my birthday at a cute local place here in Austin. Our conversation started out light and fun, something that is to be expected when you're celebrating someones birthday. But I couldn't hide it anymore. I had to tell someone. And Kim was my victim.

Earlier that day God had put it on my heart to confess. Confess everything that I had been struggling with that summer. Confess a certain situation that was robbing me of pure joy. But it wasn't a pretty situation. It was bad. Gross. Selfish. And as I was sitting there across from Kim, enjoying our dessert under twinkling lights, I confessed. My words were accompanied with tears and my tears were comforted by her compassion.

I am not sure why God thought now would be the ideal time to confess. I am supposed to be celebrating my birthday, after all. But as hard as it was to speak the words to Kim, I am glad he made me. Because for my birthday he gave me the gift of freedom and joy.

A week later I was enjoying a typical night in Austin with my girlfriends. A night that consisted of hanging out downtown and eating food out of trailers. Eating food that is prepared in trailers is the best thing ever. But this is also coming from a girl who LOVES gas station hot dogs so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. And put that grain of salt on your trailer food too. (I imagine that would make it taste better actually.) So there we are sitting on blankets, in the middle of downtown, eating some BBQ and God calls me to confess.

Again.

I am pretty sure I did this last week so I am not sure why we have to revisit this so soon. But I did.

My confession to Allison was a little different. It was a confession of sin but also a confession of God's goodness. My story was being transformed and I could see it in the words I declared the second time around.

Over the course of 8 weeks I began to be in the Word everyday. Something that I have struggled with for years but by the Grace of God I was carving out time for the Word. I was anxiously awaiting my time with Him next.

Jesus is the only reason for this change because His words were fueling my joy and I wanted more.

All day. Err day.

Now that some time has passed I thought I was done confessing about this certain situation but once again God had a different plan.

Last night while Jenn and I were driving back home from our Missional Community she asked me to tell her what has happened over the past 8 weeks. Once again confession rolled off my tongue. It was a confession of the crappy stuff but a declaration of the goodness of God. I remember telling her:

"Some days I want to go back to that sin, because I get lonely and it was fun. But I know that at this time in my life that would be the absolute stupidest thing I could do."

Her response: "I agree."

Her response would normally produce a defensive wall and might cause me to respond by saying "Hey, you don't know me." (Similar to the reactions you get on Jerry Springer) But I was thankful. I am thankful for her honesty because it is to protect me and help me strive towards Jesus.

Over the past 8 weeks I have seen the importance of being brutally honest within community. And over the past 6 weeks we have been studying a series in church about the importance of community. I don't think it is a coincidence that those two coincided in my life during this time.

Because of Jesus my words of confession have been transformed into words of declaration.
I want to confess the bad because I want to declare the good.

Jesus takes filth that has decayed my heart over the span of 4 years and makes it new. And he gives you community to walk alongside you and help you clean up those pieces.

So if you are reading this and you aren't in community, I encourage you to get on that!
I know it can be hard to walk into a group of people you may not know and talk about Jesus. But it is so worth it.

And if you are reading this and your walk with Jesus is being held back by chains that are slowing down your walk- confess. And after you confess- declare!

While confession should be a regular part of our Christian walk, I am reminding myself that it is important that I don't live in that state of confession but I also live fully in the state of declaration.

I am declaring that Jesus is better.

"And our souls declaring Jesus is better.
Make my heart believe.
Our song eternal Jesus is better.
Make my heart believe."

Day 7: Community

I'm in bed wide awake right now because I can't fall asleep. So I thought I would catch up on my blog posts that I haven't done in 3 days.

Any of you other #31Days people behind like I am? (Just say yes to make me feel better)

The best part of a sleepless night? Texting my Missional Community leader about things going on in our lives. She keeps it real with me, and I with her, and we are able to share struggles together.

I joined this group almost 6 years ago and these ladies have become some of my best friends. They are the ones I tell all my messy and dirty stuff to and they still love me despite my filth.

If you haven't joined a biblical community I encourage you to do so very soon!! God did not create us to walk through this life alone. He created us to live in community just like the Trinity.

Day 4: Failure

Well crap, y'all.

I forgot to blog yesterday.

I failed.

On day 3!!!

Told you I would do it. But this time it wasn't intentional. It wasn't like those times I set goals for myself and thought "Oh well, I'll see if I can maybe pull this off."

I really thought I could do it!...Well kinda, except for when I kinda doubted myself on my Day 1 post. Oops.

But that's okay. I'm allowing myself a little grace in this area. Mainly because I know I'm not perfect and it takes discipline to go from blogging once a month to blogging once a day.

This is what I love about Jesus.

I can fail over and over at something and he won't give up on me.

He knows I'm not perfect and that what he asks of me requires discipline.

And I will try day after day to be perfect.

And fail.

But he always welcomes me with grace.

So okay, I failed at Day 3 but I got Day 4 in the books.

So tomorrow I will welcome Day 5 with a little grace.

Women of Joy

Well it's Day 2 of the #31Days challenge and I already look like I am a day behind because I "skipped" October 1st. I uploaded my post a few hours early because we all decided to link up early due to time zone differences. Soooooo, I felt the need to explain myself so you wouldn't judge me.

Validation is an idol of mine. I am working on getting over that.

Anyway.

I was invited to attend a conference in San Antonio this weekend and I am super excited about it!

It's called Women of Joy and one of their guest speakers will be Miss Kay from Duck Dynasty!!

How cool is that?!?!

I also can't wait to worship again with Chris Tomlin. I haven't been able to do that since he left our church in Austin to plant Passion City in Atlanta, so that will be awesome too!

I can't wait to experience this weekend's theme of absolute surrender!

They will encourage women to take a break from their busy schedules and to energize and refocus their spiritual lives- sign me up!

The best part of all of this (well, besides growing closer to God!) they have asked me to do a review of the conference on my blog! So you'll be able to read and see pictures of this experience!

Can't wait to share with you!!

(I used a ton of exclamation points in this post, by the way!)

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

#31Days Challenge

To be honest, I don't know why I am doing this...

If you look over my blog history, I am not known to blog all day err day.

But. That's what makes this a challenge.

A challenge to blog everyday for the month of October.

I may fail because of my ridiculously busy schedule.

But I may succeed.

I want to succeed because it will be good for me to get a little bit of writing in everyday.

(a good writing exercise for a freelance writer)

But most importantly I want to succeed because the topic I picked was faith.

I picked faith because it is a constant in my life.

No matter the day, weather or mood- faith is and always will be intertwined in every aspect of my life.

My faith isn't perfect.

But my Savior is.

My faith isn't strong.

But my Savior is.

And my faith isn't always bold.

But my Savior is.

So welcome fellow bloggers (and readers) to my #31Days of Faith.

I hope you see the traces of faith in my everyday life.

That one time when I wrote a letter to Jay-Z about my trip to Oklahoma

As most of you know I went to Oklahoma almost two weeks ago.

Why, you ask?

I was given the opportunity to attend Kevin Durant's basketball camp and write a review for one of the female sports blogs I write for.

I was asked earlier in the year and of course my response was:

"Ballin'!" (Which translated into a more professional response of "yes I would love to, thank you.")

I spent the whole summer word vomiting about it on social media, because that's what you're supposed to do these days. And I was super excited/nervous about the chance to meet Kevin Durant.

No I did not take this picture while
driving and yes I did take this
picture 20 times and decided this
was the best one- believe it or not.

I drove up to Oklahoma in the middle of the week and booked a room at a Sooner fans dream hotel. Seriously, that place is where Sooner fans go to die. So why did I stay there? Well that is what happens when you try to book a hotel with your debit card reward points and want a location closest to OU campus. Plus I thought it would be a fun experience because it was also a sports bar, and y'all know I love me some sports bars (said in a non-booze hound sorta way).

UT fans: just focus your eyes on the really big bed.

The evening I got into town I thought I'd explore OU campus and get a feel for this school that I was raised to hate. I wanted to find where things were since I had to be at the rec center early the next morning. Honestly, I was also itching to see the football stadium. Even though I hate OU football, I was excited to see the stadium because I made a new goal for myself to visit every stadium in the Big 12 Conference. So against my will, it was a must that I see this place. It wasn't so bad. I didn't burst into flames when I stepped foot on the stadium grounds.

It just so happened that the OU football players where getting out of practice when I was exploring. I  thought I should take advantage of this opportunity by asking them to help me find a few buildings. I also thought it would be a good idea to tackle one of them. I use the term tackle very loosely but I did body slam one because I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. When someone says "it's over there" and points, of course I am going to look so that means you shouldn't walk in front of me. I'm not saying that Kliff Kingbury should make me an honorary player for this tackle....wait, yes I am. Holla atcha girl, Kliff. (My number will be in secret code at the end of this post).

The next morning I woke up super early to head over to Kevin Durant's camp. When I got there I went to check-in with the staff as a member of the media. I was quickly informed that Kevin Durant's agent decided that morning he did not want media present for the camp after all.

Say what?!?!?!

Yes, you read that right. I drove 6 hours to Oklahoma and booked a hotel for two nights only to find out that they changed their mind. It took a lot for me to not go crazy latina on them but I found it best for the future of my career to just walk away.

When I arrived back at the hotel I frantically searched to find out who Kevin Durant's agent was. It is amazing how big of a brain fart you can have when you're fuming mad because I quickly remembered that his agent is....

Jay-Z.

Suddenly it sank in. Kevin Durant signed to Roc Nation Sports about a month ago and Jay-Z currently represents him and a few other players.

Freakin' A.

I didn't let the fear of Jay-Z possibly reading my letter make my shy away from sending it. I felt like this situation was something they needed to know about for the future. Last minute decisions like this one can hurt a little freelancers heart. And my heart was hurting. Like whoa.

The hardest part of writing the letter was starting it off. How exactly do you write a letter that is directed towards Jay-Z?

Dear Mr. Jay-Z?

Dear Jay?

Dear Mr. Hyphen Z?

Hova??

I went with something more professional. That was the second hardest part for me. Being professional. I wanted to write him a letter more explicit than the lyrics in his last album. Homegirl was PO-ed. I wanted to let him know that I currently had 99 problems and he was one.

But I didn't.

I expressed my frustrations in a polite manner because at the end of the day I do want to like you Jay-Z. I still want to sing Can I Get A? at a karaoke bar with my friends. But more than that, I wanted to display a little glimpse of loving one another through such a crappy time as this.

I haven't heard back from him. I actually don't expect to. Maybe I will get a shout out in his next album. Who knows?

But I learned a lot from this experience. I learned that writing is what I want to do. I want to do it bad enough to drive 6 hours to Oklahoma and stay in a Sooner infested hotel.

I learned that God has given me some pretty fun experiences even when the outcome isn't what I would have imagined.

And this is a story about that one time when I wrote a letter to Jay-Z about my trip to Oklahoma.

I'm Not Dead.

Good news, right?

My sister informed me that I hadn't written a blog post in almost two months...and she laughed when she told me because she thought she was mistaken and then I (not so) kindly informed her that she was correct and thanks for pointing that out. (Long breath after a unnecessary run-on sentence).

So if I am not dead, what exactly have I been doing?

Good question.

I got a new freelance job writing for another college sports website.
Score.

I am about to head to Oklahoma to interview and review Kevin Durant's Basketball camp.
Score. Again.

And last week I was in Dallas for Echo- a conference for artist, geeks and storytellers.
And it was awesome.
Mainly because I got to hear Jon Acuff speak for the 5th time in 3 months, which is borderline stalker status. And I finally got to hear Donald Miller speak and he blew my mind.

Aaaaand this weekend I have been attending Texas Style Council here in Austin.
Which is the primary reason for this late-night blog update.
Because all the ladies I gave my blog out to are going to visit and say:
"Dang this chic doesn't write much."
Well, I do.
Just not on here.
Often.

So I am heading to bed before 11p on a Saturday night, but only after I go iron my favorite cardigan to wear tomorrow.

And if that last sentence didn't make me sound like an old lady, nothing else will.

Adios new friends!

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